(((((Kelly))))) I can relate as I stopped using and could not use again inspite of all the depression and the agonising pain for over many days of my first few days of abstinence, because the pain of using seemed more terrible to bear than the pain of not using. Staying clean seemed more appealing than the boring, monotonous and meaningless mundane affair of using. I went to meetings, shared my heart and soul out in whatever way I could.

I found it hard to put my feelings into words, sometimes my speech was stuttering and stammering and slurred, and I was trembling thru out my body, sometimes I cried while sharing, but I still shared, did not bother about anything else. I had to stay clean, and for that, I had to reach out to others, as many of them as possible and as much as possible, and share what's happenin inside me, in my head, in my body, in my heart. It was a powerful healing for me. I also started relying completely on a Higher Power, a Power that is greater than my addiction, whatever that was (whether I understood it or not didn't matter). I started praying, talking, turning my pain and my urges to use over to this Power in whatever way I could ~ by going to a meeting, by sharing online, by reading literature, by making those calls to whoever gave me their numbers at meetings, by praying to that Power, by writing a journal every now and then, by not using one hour at a time, by even sharing about my obsession and cravings with my li'l sister who was only 14 then. It all worked. These clean hours became days and then these days became months and suddenly I realized that I was presented a 1 year medal from my sponsor and was so full of gratitude and joy. It was unbelievable. The impossible had happened. MIRACLES DO HAPPEN! I alone can't, but together we can. It does get better, Kelly. Keep sharing with us. Prayers and Hugs ~ Tahir. 

Thank you, Tahir.  I just need some insight on some stuff.  I can't wait to start feeling better.  The sick is just beginning and I know I have a few hard days and nights ahead of me.  I want to do this so bad.

No i haven't made a meeting yet.  I've got a friend who is going to go to the AA group and see it they have a where and when pamphlet.  I hope so.  I think I need to go.  I finally got some sleep today and woke up dreaming about going and getting some drugs...damn brain.

I thought about using today and just had to stop the thought, I prayed { lords prayer and serenity prayer) for a few minutes and just hung on and rode it out till it passed.


Hang on Kelly its tough at first if you can get thru the detox period you'll feel better later and the thoughts will come less nd less as time pass's.

Well, I've made it 4 days now, working on my 5th.  I've been praying alot. 

I wnet to an AA meeting last night.   It was ok.  But I would rather be at a NA meeting.

Thank you all for your support.

Wooohooooo (Clapping Wildly) KELLY! YOU ROCK!

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BIG 5 MIRACLES!!! WAY TO GO! KEEP THE MIRACLE ALIVE!

Here is a big NA Hug for you...

((((((((((((((((((((KELLY))))))))))))))))))))

Walk in the Light with your Higher Power,

Hugs, Love, Light ~ Tahir.