Only took me seven years of meetings for me to get step one. It happened through undeniable example. I had quit smoking for the umpteenth time, but this time I swore I was through. Yet when a couple bad things happened to me, I drove to a gas station, and didn't realize until I had told the cashier what brand..... It was terrifying. I realized I had absolutely no control.
All I had to say at that point was, "Nevermind." Couldn't. And of course if I had then I HAD to smoke them.
Powerless, powerless, powerless, and no way to stop but with the help of the program.
Unrealistic expectations are too often just another form of unmanageability for us.
Well that one slammed me upside the head.
When so many things are screwed up guess starting at step one is a good place to start LOL.
So i'm going to keep reading and thinking about things there are many things i need to understand.
All our old habits need examination in recovery. We tend to allow the habitual behavior to form and can go on for years without reconsidering our original sources of information.
This is all I am doing now trying to get a clear picture of where I have been and where i'm at now I KNOW that I am repeating old habits and getting the SAME results......
Those who hold onto reservations, and avoid coming right out with the statement, "I am powerless and my life is unmanageable!"
Well i'm definetly not in denial or have reservations about things at least and i want things to change within myself so that my outward self is better and my inside feels good about itself.
I would rather read the text simply the way it is. I personally do not need a work sheet or detailed web page to know the meaning of powerlessness and unmanagability.
"We admitted that we were powerless over drugs, and that our lives had become unmanagable."
Pretty clear to me. I know that if I personally get caught up in the detail of too many things than I lose the kind of focus and simplistic growth that Step One provides.
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"These precious things...let them break their hold on me."
Thank you all for those awesome links and the wonderful posts, family.
Hugs ~ Tahir.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
addiction....not drugs.that is what makes the differance between na and any other fellowships.
my old sponsor used to say...if im not the problem then there is no solution.
my disease is a floating disease.it moves from symptom to symptom.wherever i am spiritualy weak it moves in.
so it is a spiritual disease to.at least for me.
the first worksheet was written by the guy that wrote our traditions in the text .he helped with the second one as well.
he wrote the introduction,about our symbol.
he told me in the begining i was too closeminded about a disease that has been kicking ass since cavemen were around.
everyone has a diferant path in recovery.some like the step guides.alot of folks dont.i try to cover my disease,not giving it a chance to kill me.
still have a sponsor,who has a sponsor etc,and i know what works for me.those first two have been floating around since the early 80s.most sponsorship families use what works for them.we used them.
keep coming back
-- Edited by dalin at 10:14, 2006-08-16
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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
A New Path wrote: I would rather read the text simply the way it is. I personally do not need a work sheet or detailed web page to know the meaning of powerlessness and unmanagability.
"We admitted that we were powerless over drugs, and that our lives had become unmanagable."
Pretty clear to me. I know that if I personally get caught up in the detail of too many things than I lose the kind of focus and simplistic growth that Step One provides.
"We admitted that we were powerless over drugs, and that our lives had become unmanagable."
It's clear but not detailed maybe theres something your avoiding about the details on the work sheets?
Hey I never wanted to go very deep either just keep it simple right? but this is'nt a simple thing to understand when your up against something that is " Cunning, baffling and powerful" I would'nt call those charecteristics simple.
Step one is probably the most important one to understand yeah the first part is simple Admitting we were powerless but what did it take to get to that point? most of us went thru hell getting there that was hardly a simple task. The second part that our lives have become unmanageable, the works sheets ask for details that alot of people don't see . I want to know more about HOW WHY and WHERE my life has become so unmanageable and how I can change these things thru understanding and spirituality, it has alot to do with every aspect of my disease and the person that I am sober today.
yea the guide is ok,but it isnt for everyone.i worked with car in helping put it together.we used gregs sheets as well as a few others as guidelines,and group concience.im going to post our original approved 4th,that po'd some folks because it had animal sex(keep coming baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack) and questions about honosexuality.
he helped write the aproved yellow 4th to.http://www.louisvilleareana.org/an_approach_to_the_fourth_step_i1.htm
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dalin a unity means oneity...one god, one fellowship,one sponsor,one program...many gifts
My first sponsor introduced me to a step working guide that was and is working for my sponsor and has been passed on by my sponsor's sponsor because it worked for him/her and so on. So, inspite of it being different from the NA SWG in a lot of ways, I simply surrendered to my sponsor completely. And as a result found that It Works! I have passed on the program in the way I picked it up from my sponsor to many of my sponsees (as I could not give what I don't have, can I?) and me and my sponsees discovered that It Works!
I have seen many sponsors and members use the step work in many different formats (some use the AA stepwork methodology insisting that it's pure and original), some people take more than a year or two to complete all the twelve steps for the first time, some finish it in a couple of weeks. But the one thing I have seen in all of these variations and different system of stepwork guides is that THEY ALL WORK in their own ways. I strongly believe that if steps don't seem to be working in my life (be it any format), it's because I have not worked them as suggested by my sponsor in a particular situation or context. The most amazing thing about our program is that it thrives and grows thru the principle of "Unity, Not Uniformity".
As long as my sponsor has worked the steps in a particular format and if it's been working for him/her just like it does with his/her sponsor, it will work for me too. And as long as it works, I grow. But I always keep my mind open to all ways and methods just curious to see if I can pick up some valuable tool that can strengthen my armor against my disease even more. We have been having Step Study Meetings at our homegroup here in Bangalore, and I was so grateful to these meetings as I happened to get even deeper or fresher insights into the program when other members shared their experience with the steps.
Now, I have a new sponsor with whom I start again from Step One, and he uses the SWG of NA but preceded by some preparatory questions for each step of the guide. I'm excited and looking forward to working the program with him, and I completely trust and surrender to whatever format my current sponsor introduces to me (even if I might feel discomfort about having to work the same steps again but in a different format), because I want to reap the maximum from the wisdom and insights that this new experience could bring forward to me.
Thank you all for sharing with me.
Hugs, Love, Light ~ Tahir.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
I wonder how the NA members all around the world were working the steps (all the 12 of them) before the approved NA Step Working Guide came into existence.
These approved guides came into existence only in the late 90s, so what about the members, the founders and the pioneers of NA whose experience actually made these steps, a daily working program of NA recovery possible, over 4 decades of NA before the approved SWG? I guess the step writing guides that Dalin is referring to were existing long before the approved SWG came into existence, and not only that, they were as equally working in many members' lives as any other format could...
And moreover, this is what the WSO approved SWG itself has to say about it (from the Preface of the SWG)...
"However, as open and inclusive as we tried to be when writing these guides, we realized that we would never be able to write something that captured every member's experience with the steps. In fact, we wouldn't have tried to do that, even if we thought it were possible. This book contains guides to working the Twelve Steps toward recovery; it does not contain recovery itself. Recovery is ultimately found in each member's personal experience with working the steps. You can add to these guides, delete from them, or use them as they are. It's your choice."
Moreover, it also says...
As NA grows in numbers, in diversity, and in strength and longevity of cleantime, we need literature that will continue to serve the needs of the fellowship, literature that "grows" along with the fellowship.
Thought these lines might further clear the doubts and the misconceptions that me, as an individual NA member, might carry. And if it serves in the same way for others too, I would be glad it did.
-- Edited by Tahir at 09:08, 2006-11-11
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
