Old member returning. I am very tired right now I have been off of a newer form of Morphine, the name alludes me right now. It's pretty powerful. I have to make a choice I have been in severe pain with my back, been on and off of Vicodin ES, OXY, and now, Avinza-extended release Morphine. Although my heart goes out to you who have suicidal thoughts I am not there.
What I am coping with is no sleep, trying to change a career, mend an old relationship or let it die and anxiety that is sending me through the roof. I have had bouts of crying that I only control when I am around people-I try to keep my spirits up because I have a beautiful family and a wonderful friend that has stuck by me for over ten years, now. I can ride my bike now and even run a little, I used to be very athletic-the only thing that helps the nagging, unbearable anxiety is exercise until I drop. Then there is the horrible pain in my back that curls up my legs until I want to scream. I pray constantly for God to hold me together. I don't want to go further down the path and see these realtionships destroyed. It would be so easy to go back to my doctor on Wednesday and get a refill for my Morphine, watch the pain sizzle away along with the anxiety and depression.
I need help not to do this....to be strong enough to cancel that appointment and keep on a straight path. Has anyone suffered with horrible insomnia with withdrawal? I crave slepp yet it will not visit me. Maybe an hour or two at night, if I am lucky.
You got to ride it out man and get past the withdrawal, look at it as the double edged sword and remember it well.
I know the pain of losing a lover I have been going thru it for 6 months I know exactly what you feel and it will pass, mine is becoming less and less each day that pass's.
You must hang on we will be praying for you also your not alone in this.
Jaden, my recovery brother, I send my hugs and prayers your way.
When we face an adversity in our recovery, we can react in two ways ~ either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits... or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.
Blessings and Peace,
Tahir.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Oh excuse me for mistaking my sister for my brother. Thank you too, Jaden, for sharing. Glad I have you in my recovery.
Peace and Hugs ~ Tahir.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Im reminded that the TEXT tells us that many of us believed that addiction was present long before we used !!
Now that adds up as no matter what drug I used,,, the issue that needs addressing and working the recovery Program on is addiction and more importantly recovery !!!
Like i believe that God willing i never have to use again but by God,,, that fact is that I have to face recovery each day of my life !!!
Living clean and serene and living life on lifes terms,,,, so help me God !!!
I believe that the disease ,,,, when you take the drugs away is HATE !!!!!
So i learn how to love,,,live to love and love to live the NA WAY !!
God Bless You in your recovery,,, recovering sister !!!
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I believe that the disease ,,,, when you take the drugs away is HATE !!!!!
Wow, so true, Raman. Why didn't I think of that before?
Thank you so much for that one. Hugs and Love ~ Tahir.
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
Wow, so true, Raman. Why didn't I think of that before?
