Hello, Im Ahmed new member.. and i need help to get over of depressing that i had since i left the recovery house..im clean 4 monthes now and i left the recovery house since 2 weeks ago, and since i left it i cant do anything at all .......dont go meetings , dont talk to sponser no read no ANY THING .. and also i started to meet some ppls users and i feel so bad cause I CANT ... WHY/HOW .... and sometimes i feel it gonna be nice with a bottel and smoke nothing more and NO ONE GONNA KNOW and dont know how come i still clean till now i go everywhere i meet everybody i see EVERYTHING .. there is no Step1 or 2 or 3 Life is SuX and also sometimes i feel that we live to die so why not spend it and live it!!!!!!!!!!!! ###### Why Me .... Why They Can Just Smoke or just Drink for 1 day ever week or every month !!!! Why i must stay all my life like that..meetings,sponsers,reading,etc,etc i feel so bad cause im away from the halfway and dont need to go to there again