I needed something to hang onto after I relapsed I did'nt and dont want my head to fall in shame, though I do feel it I don't have to let it own me .
None of us are failures long as we keep trying and even then not sure we're really failures we're just up against a tough opponent, funny thing is that opponent is ourselves, now thats a strange concept!
Just thought I would mention it here I will be gone for a few days starting tomorrow heading for the sierra Nevadas to do some fishing and hanging out in the Stanislaus forest this is where I will be incase anyones in the area
Welp that was a good weekend, no fish but i'll post some pics and maybe a movie link once I get the video edited.
Weather was so cool compared to where a I live at least 20-30 degrees cooler.
I got out on the lake sitting on the bank and let myself cry I have a deep sadness in me over this lost relationship so figured i'd let some of it out and into the sky it went maybe letting go little by little is all I can do for now. sorry for the dribble
so did it help to be at a quiet place like that?how are you feeling with all those days sober now?are you doing ok?thats a beautiful pic of where you were.you're really good about posting pics,thats nice to see.
Thankyou for asking Cheryl and yes it did help and i'm doing ok with staying sober, I have some moments that are tough but thats all they last is a moment prayer pulls me out of it.
Put together 25 days so far. I have been having a few thoughts of using especially when i'm depressed about how things have ended up with me and my ex girlfriend I really had some high lofty hopes but oh well this will make me stronger and wiser and a better man I hope.
I'm going thru a break up right now and I was able to keep it off my mind and stay out of contact with her at least thoughs few days I was gone, soon as I got home I emailed her P* off , she owes me money and I expected a check in the mail which still has'nt gotten here and I let loose, my charecter defect not letting this all go and trying to control the situation.
So it was GORGOUS up there the waether was COOL and that was a nice change I did some traveling scouting out all the lakes and rivers and streams up there no fish but thats ok i'm used to that at least now when I go up next time i'll know what to expect and where to go.
SO heres a short video I made of a few spots I was at.
Use the smaller video window it looks better then when its large.
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