I have what is called a dual diagnois: I am a recovering addict who has a mental health issues. I would write that my main issue is Bipolar Disorder, but my therapist says that the word "addict" describes me more so than Bipolar. You see, I am also "addicted" to a set of twins with whom I've had very codependent relations with; they were also my main drug connections, one of which I was engaged & the other I lived with briefly.
I know that it is advised for us to band together and focus on the similiarites shared by all addicts instead of discussing qualifiers and our particular d.o.c. (drug[s] of choice.) However, I still feel that meth has affected me in a way that no other drug could. I think that is due in part to my Bipolar, as the neurons in the left frontal cortex of my brain fire too rapidly anyway. It's also due to the fact that for four months I had an unlimited supply of meth; surely, that darn near killed me a couple of years ago. My Maker--darn hype though he is--has said that I stay awake longer and crash harder than anyone he has ever seen. He also sums up the obvious by saying that I'm "obsessive compulsive and highly aggressive", especially on meth. My thoughts apparently raced so fast that for days at a time I would just lay there, not sleeping, out of it. I remember that I had no concept of time, although by the mercy of my Higher Power I remember little else. I know some people use meth hopeing that they can stay awake to get more done, but I am the exact opposite: when I'm on meth all I do is do meth (along with other [nonprescription] drugs.)
Is anybody else out there a recovering meth addict who is Bipolar? I would be grateful to get feedback from anyone, regardless of d.o.c. or mental health, as the disease of addiction has apparently brought us all here together so that we may receive support.
Don't give up hope,and stay in the program.So many if us do have mental health issues ranging from depression to many other things.We still have a right to a stable life and a future.My sponsor has mental health issues and I respect her sobriety and her inteeligance,and I'm so grateful she came into my life.We are all here to help each other,and offer support,and the fact that you logged on,and reached out is very positive.You show you have a desire to quit,so don't give up.There are non addicts out there with mental health issues also,and so many people have emotional issues anyway.We are not alone.
Afer 16 1/2 years of recovery I have yet to meet one addict or alcoholic that didn't have mental health issues... the second step doesn't say we could be restored to insanity.. it says we could be restored to Sanity...
Those words are in the steps for a very real reason... because we suffer from a variety of mental health problems...
Crazy is an upgrade from insane... Crazy people know somethang ain't right with their thinker... insane people don't think anything is wrong with theirs... LOL
"Mama, mama we're all crazy now!" is an old song which your post has put me in mind of.
It's often said that most people use drugs to "self medicate"/ escape from reality plus have self esteem issues.
There have been times--especially when I was using--that I didn't doubt my sanity; surely I was probably clinically psychotic at the time. LOL! But you've made a great point about the second step. (I'm still working through the workbook on the first step.)