How did this happen to me. I'm 49 years old. I've seen what meth addiction can do, hate it and here I am doing it with the guy I have been dating for the past year. I really want to blame him, but I could have said no. 6 months into this and I am worried. I keep telling myself I'm not going to do it anymore and then I go over to his place and there we are again. I'm frightened to find myself in this position. I live in a small town. I don't want to go to a meeting. If anyone found out, everything I've worked so hard for would be gone. Is this a good start. Where do I go from here?
i live in a small town also.i had the same apprehensions about what i shared,however i found that people in the meetings were struggling as well,and i began to trust having to depend on the meetings to work.it wasnt practical to try to go forty minutes away to a bigger town,so i had to learn to trust what would work for me.i know thats hard but to stop your using its necessary to try.getting away from other users is critical.good luck i hope this website is a lifeline for you,i know it has been alot of help for me.
Look at the pros and cons of this relationship with the boyfriend and do the samething with the meth. You said it yourself that you have seen what meth does to people and that you hate it. I think your first step is to get out of the relationship, GO TO A MEETING, and keep yourself away from where it is at.
Think about what you are doing right now at this very min. that is what matters and if you are clean at that very min then go to the next min and so on. Don't think about tomorrow and how you are going to do it. You have to start small and take baby steps. Always tell yourself "I CAN DO IT"
open arms to ya....
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If you want to stay clean...you can do it...your mind is the most powerful thing...BUT you CAN NOT do it ALONE!
JUST FOR TODAY MY THOUGHTS WILL BE ON MY NEW ASSOCIATIONS,PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT USING AND WHO HAVE FOUND A NEW WAY OF LIFE,,, SO LONG AS I FOLLOW THAT WAY, I HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR !!!
-- Edited by Raman at 15:17, 2006-07-20
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
My name is Raymond and I am a recovering addict and alcoholic.
I am new in my sobriety and have 50 days clean and sober.
I know what it is like to be on the edge of wanting to stop using and "wanting" to keep using.
As someone who is freshly embarking on his journey of sobriety I can tell you what made ME stop using. It was admitting to myself that I was POWERLESS. That I have ZERO control. Other people, places and circumstances didn't ( and shouldn't matter ). All that I needed to focus on was the fact that I was powerless. ONE THING AT A TIME.
After I had made that clear to myself I began going to meetings and asking for help. If you attend NA meetings there will people there who can and WILL help you get better. That is the place that I started from and now I have 50 days of REAL LIVING underneath my belt. I never thought that this would happen to me, but God is amazing and works in mysterious ways.
IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU AS WELL! And it will, provided that you take the first step and admit your enslavement to meth. Then go to meetings and keep going. It will save your life as it is saving mine.
God Bless you.
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"These precious things...let them break their hold on me."
