Hi, I Am Robin, and I Am an Addict. For years, I have struggled with the ways addiction has taken over my life, controlling my every move, and convinced me that I am not an addict but a person who is good at enhancing a drug where I thought power existed. I began to feel hopeless and powerless over my own actions and acknowledged my flaws as an overwhelming experience, telling myself I am not an addict. After constantly becoming clean and relapsing every year, I finally had the chance to identify my problem. I, Robin, am an addict who is very confused about the formation of the NA program here in Atlanta, Georgia, USA. I relapsed on September 27 and sought help through a program in Downtown Atlanta at 10th park place/ Behavioral Health. I wanted to go about starting treatment, but I was pulled to the side by a former worker of 10th park place/NA member. I was convinced this program was the right choice because it was a place where my voice could be heard. I attended my first meeting as an AA member to learn the ways of the NA program. I listened, took notes, and attended my first NA meeting afterwards. I didn't have a voice at my first NA meeting, but after choosing a sponsor and reading out the blue Narcotics Anonymous book to understand the steps, I, Robin, have now welcomed myself into a world of recovery. I have attended seventeen meetings and remained clean for twenty days. I was allowed, not once but twice (at a meeting), to be the voice of the people as a speaker with less recovery time. I was volunteered to speak from another recovering addict who was in charge of the meeting. I led my first NA meeting at sixteen days clean with six participants. It went great. One of the speakers (with more recovery time than I) asked me again to speak at an NA meeting with twenty days of clean time. This meeting was a very big challenge. I experienced the most disrespectful comments and feedback from 30 participants. When I shared my clean time and was given the chance to share my experience of addiction, I was backed into a wall filled with hate and jealousy because I did not have the right to lead an NA meeting with a short amount of clean time (so I was told). At every meeting, for the past 20 days, I have been told to be quiet for ninety days and listen. I have been told to sit in the front and shut up. I have also experienced a newcomer attending an NA meeting and leaving after one or two days because they are so desperately wanting to share their experiences as a first-day recovery. At the beginning of every NA meeting (it is stated that) the newcomer is the most important person at a meeting. For some reason, I believe that is false at some NA meetings. Based on my experience as a newcomer. My second experience leading a meeting required a burning desire, and I was happy to share with my peers. My question is: What is the point of a NA meeting, if the newcomer can't speak?
