This is about making recovery less obstructed for the newcomer. Not necessarily directly, but by making space as some members read and make use of it. A yield of hope, removing some of the obstruction, that makes it harder for a lot to go to a meeting.
In writing and sharing about these kinds of things, I gained this experience: Cravings begin to seek pathway by using me, and it begins to sabotage my capacity to formulate myself clearly. It makes me miss details and the like.
Thoughts get embedded, ideas inserted. It uses the ethos that the posts build, consuming it. Shapes ideas of why these were written to begin with, creating self-character-assassination.
And these cravings are not magical; they originate out of the needs, desires, demands and the like. The origins are not just lives or fates. it is sought fulfillment, indifferently searching through pathways. Think of eating a meal, keeping you going another day, or using a vehicle to get to a meeting. What makes these possible, at such a low cost?
At times it's more complex: Things desired regarded as desirable. Desires for control. Fears of what'll result. Outcomes craved, and fixated fates threatened in their realization. In this case, the material presents an inconvenience to certain things.
Likely that led to lack of sorts seeking fulfillment, like water carving a pathway through the terrain.
Reading a Craving
At times it is by those wanting to avoid doing harm. Some avoid doing harm, to an extent that it does harm; incidentally self-exposing, ending up harmed and causing greater cravings, malice and harm. Spot a craving or two, shaping what you just read?
It's a classic desire for things to be viewed in a certain way. Demanding it regarded as superior, as better, to avoid undergoing harm to begin with, excusing indulgence in feeding into occurrences of addiction, getting high in a variety of ways on using through others bodies. Doing so, without personal consequences.
A twist, that makes it seem better, than taking personal losses or sinking in oneself, which shapes convenience consumed in a variety of ways.
It is incredibly common; something bad happens, someone dies, someone gets neglected - poof suddenly an addiction-knot develops a few years down-the-line. Who consumed that fate shaping? It is complicated to avoid being part of entirely. Just look at bullying, something also attempted excused in that line, claimed overall leading to less bad things.
Yet simultaneously, note how writing this, also attempts to collapse the entire set of written posts. Making these go unread, disregarded, be denied - simply by assassinating the text. Depicting it as "disease", "causing addiction", "rationalizing using", "excusing the addiction" etc..
Of course, there's a desire to protect as well. Part of that is an attempt at eliminating the inconvenience of oppression being viewed as oppression. However there's another layer. Avoiding passing on the disease, by refusing complicity and the default cost-externalization, is something that does yield safety.
It makes it easier to stay in recovery, removes hatred, makes space for recovery and so on. However, it can weaken a life, and there's a lot of predation. Those recovering do get exploited, and part of that is craved demotivation; subjugating lives into convenience by turning them to the disease.
Cravings Shaping the Reading of a Craving
Writing this, also is shaped by a craving for convenience. A desire to quit using, combined with the very real need to avoid being complicity, builds intense pressure. The issue denoted as a central theme in the posts, is likely to get worse in the next decade/s.
That means a desire for a safe exit-pathway, shapes a craving to senselessly misuse lives to create that. Writing this may inspire fear in the reader, fear of being consumed by that, veiling and hiding the issue, a kind of craving to block clarity; the inverse of a spiritual awakening.
A desire to consume the convenience, safety and ease of getting out of the mess, without taking a struggle oneself: A provoking highlight partially trying to buy me into sabotaging the work I did.
Misusing lives to create that convenience, especially some already heavily wronged, is an exploitative process. Unlike the actual process of recovery, that approach pollutes with rationalization on the very kind of exploitation, that creates the need to violate lives to create the convenience to begin with. In other words, that may be convenient to a few, while it would be at expense of most - a statement shaped by a craving to convince of how it would be easier to not view oppression as oppression.
The cravings also seem drive readers to make this conclusion: "Because of the risks, therefore oppressing and externalizing costs is overall worthwhile, sometimes. Overall, some would do more harm, if rationalization on them being harmed, exploited and wronged would take form." - essentially excusing indulging in oppressing.
And there's this one: Pinning all the blame on the disease, shifting individual responsibility entirely unto the cravings, explaining why some find themselves in the precarious situation of turning to complicity. Free will may be economic in nature. Free as it builds up when spent well, while decision-making may be an inner system, guilt/blame an artificial construct to get things to run around while all principally are innocent... But, whether or not some being wronged, excuse doing wrongs unto others, it wouldn't exactly be a free ticket to do whatever one pleases, would it?
With that, it suffices to showcase why writing these posts meet their end here. Already after the last post, I intended to delete the account, leaving the posts there to be read. I'm too impacted, weakened and desires to influence what is written are way too heavy.
Within, convincing was shaping that I wouldn't need edit the raw writing. And sure, editing can add in funny things, or like over-sharpening a knife it can accidentally break the material. However, while I'd like to make the post more on-point, the very material denote why I wouldn't employ capacities of others to do so, and why I'm at the limit of what I can do. It is simply too heavy, and I ain't got the capacity, surplus, time nor energy to refine it further.
Concluding that here, thus negates the cravings that would misuse the ethos that built through the posts. It refuses the desires sabotaging and blocking out the material, at least in this way. Makes the work less likely to be rendered useless, denied, ignored - and the likelihood gets greater that it actually serves the newcomer. A joy of anonymity is that my life is less tempting to end as a means to preserve the usability of the material.
