I went to my first NA meeting last night and it wasn't what I expected.  First of all, it was huge: at least 50 people!  I was expecting a group of about 10 sitting in a circle talking about challenges in recovery.  Instead, they had a speaker.  Parts of his message spoke to me, and I admire his courage because the poor boy was obviously nervous about public speaking.  Anyway, this NA meeting was at a drug rehab, but the meeting listing on the NA website said that it was open to the public.  I was wondering, will I find that a meeting that's not held at a drug rehab probably be smaller?

I felt like an outsider.  Part of it is that I got lost on the way and was about 5 minutes late.  I had wanted to get there 10-15 minutes before the group started so I could talk to the one leading the meeting and identify myself as a newbie.  After the meeting there was so much excitement, hugging, and personal conversation that I could not ask questions.  I'm not a social master, never met a stranger type.  I'm pretty shy, especially in a new environment and in a big crowd. 

I know that I need the support and copeing skills offered by NA.  My therapist says that NA is more successful at preventing relapse than the most expensive treatment center.  I plan to go back on Sunday--either there or a meeting that's a little farther away to check it out, see if it's smaller.

Going to that first meeting has changed me a little.  I realize that I have less of the answers than I thought in regards to recovery.   I saw people there who looked like they would never do drugs, and that was a real eye opener. 

I was wondering about the literature.  How do I get it, especially a self help type workbook?  I assume there are nominal fees to cover the price of printing.

I feel like my first meeting is a milestone, and i just wanted to share it with you.  I have a feeling like my life is about to change (for the better.)