I am 55 years old, always held a job, raised our children, never been caught with drugs, and have literally done drugs for decades. I guess I am what you would call a functional drug addict. I have always treated drugs like alcohol you don't drive, you don't do it at work etc. Not being caught has given me this attitude that its not a big deal when it is. as soon as work is done "get it on" but do what your supposed to in life, but if its off time or a function/gathering trying to say no is literally impossible
Why Are We Here? "We could not live and enjoy life as other people do. We had to have something different and we thought we had found it in drugs. We placed their use ahead of the welfare of our families, our wives, husbands, and our children. We had to have drugs at all costs." NA Basic Text
What is our message? The message is that an addict, any addict, can stop using drugs, lose the desire
to use, and find a new way to live. Our message is hope and the promise of freedom.
Basic Text, page 65
What do I do? NA suggests attending a meeting a day for at least 90 days, find a sponsor and start working the steps. That's how this simple program works. Go to meetings Clean if you can go using if you can't go clean, Just Go! There is no magic wand, no quick fix. However active addiction can be arrested and Recovery is then possible!
I discovered that I couldn't get thru a day without HAVING to use. Still wasn't a big deal, my life was managable (I told myself). After using for 39 years I had no problem admitting I was an addict.
But I did not want to stop until my life turned upside down. (She left me after 25 yrs). I had run out of ideas. When that moment came, I finally started to consider the rooms as a 'possible' solution.
If you want to try to change, I suggest you go to meetings for just 60 days. You've got nothing to lose and much to gain.