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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> Desperate
Post Info TOPIC: Desperate
rainbowroom


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Desperate
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Hi, my name is Beverly and I am a hopeless and at the moment feel helpless addict/alcoholic..  I am also jobless, depressed and haunted by who Ive become.  There is not a soul on this planet who 'knows' me.  Ive always felt I didn't belong no matter what group I was in.  I was physically and mentally abused until the age of 17 and remember praying when certain members of my family got home that they would be happy.  I have always tried to make everything ok.  I want so bad to be accepted and loved.  SO BAD.  But I have to love myself first they say and that if foreign to me.  I was also sexually abused by an uncle and a babysitter.  I have torn my family apart.  I am empty inside.  I don't know how I became who I am today.  I have thoughts of suicide daily although that's something I also have failed at bc I'm a coward.  I want to start my steps.  I desperately need to work the steps and face my past and what is haunting me inside.  I have to forgive myself but I don't know how.  I have to quit using or I am going to die.  There is no doubt in my mind about that.  Thank you for letting me share.   I am really reaching out to women.  cry



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Mike M


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Get to meetings and reach out to women there! You are not alone or unique. You'll discover many (women & men) have been where you are and felt as you feel.

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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :)
Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
MIKEF


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Welcome to MIP Beverly!

We always suggest making meetings and WE have also found that those who value Sponsorship get the most out of the Proram(STEPSsmile)WE share a common illness,that of addiction.You seem to know the sequence,put down the substance,get into the Solution,the STEPS,worked with a Sponsor and applied in all areas of your life and the futility of continuing to use.You are reaching out and now its time to follow up.Hope to hear more from you ,I will lift you up in support and prayer..Take it a day at a time,free yourself of the "monsters' through STEP work and an outlook on a Higher Power(one greater than yourself)and daily work..Let us know how it is going....smilesmile



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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery. 
Dave R


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Welcome.
Despair can be a spiritual gift that prompts us toward action.
The first step toward toward recovery is to admit that you have a problem--which you seem to be doing.
I hope you can follow that up by going to meetings and finding the strength and support of other addicts--especially women.

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rainbowroom


Newbie

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Posts: 2
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Thank you so much!  I really appreciate your support.  I started my day w Serenity prayer and literature.  Really need to get a sponsor.



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