"When we were using, our lives became an exercise in survival. Now we are doing much more living than surviving."
Basic Text, p. 52
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"I'd be better off dead!" A familiar refrain to a practicing addict, and with good reason. All we had to look forward to was more of the same miserable existence. Our hold on life was weak at best. Our emotional decay, our spiritual demise, and the crushing awareness that nothing would ever change were constants. We had little hope and no concept of the life we were missing out on.
The resurrection of our emotions, our spirits, and our physical health takes time. The more experience we gain in living, rather than merely existing, the more we understand how precious and delightful life can be. Traveling, playing with a small child, making love, expanding our intellectual horizons, and forming relationships are among the endless activities that say, "I'm alive." We discover so much to cherish and feel grateful to have a second chance.
If we had died in active addiction, we would have been bitterly deprived of so many of lifes joys. Each day we thank a Power greater than ourselves for another day clean and another day of life.
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Just for today: I am grateful to be alive. I will do something today to celebrate.