Our addiction caused us to think almost exclusively of ourselves. Even our prayers--if we prayed at all--we were self-centered. We asked God to fix things for us or get us out of trouble. Why? Because we didn't want to live with the problems wed created for ourselves. We were insecure. We thought life was about getting, and we always wanted more.
And in recovery we get more--more than just not using. The spiritual awakening we experience in working the Twelve Steps reveals to us a life we never dreamed possible. We no longer need to worry about whether there will be enough, for we come to rely on a loving Higher Power who meets all our daily needs. Relieved of our incessant insecurity, we no longer see the world as a place in which to compete with others for the fulfillment of our desires. Instead, we see the world as a place in which to live out the love our Higher Power has shown us. Our prayers are not for instant gratification; they are for help in helping each other.
Recovery awakens us from the nightmare of self-centeredness, strife, and insecurity that lies at the core of our disease. We wake up to a new reality: All that is worth having can be kept only by giving it away.
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Just for today: My God helps me as I help others. Today, I will seek help in giving away the love my Higher Power has given me, knowing that is the way to keep it.
