Hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted in a while. Most of you know I have been struggling for a long time with staying clean, anger, depression etc but today I am a new person. I have been going to outpatient rehab for a couple months now and it's going great. While I'm there I see a therapist once a week to work on myself and my self worth. My therapist is great! Recovering alcoholic who's been sober for more than 10 years so she understands how my brain works. I was diagnosed with extreme depression, panic/anxiety disorder, ptsd and bi polar. Now I'm not all about taking medication because knowing me I would take the whole bottle in one sitting. But I was put on some medication and for the month I've been taking it, it's like the weight of the world is off my chest and I can breath. My husband is in charge of distributing my pills so I don't misuse. It's a start. Yes there is still some adjustments that need to be made so I can stop having panic attacks multiple times a day and snapping at people but it's a start. I was always so scared to do this and fix myself to be happy. I always thought it would just be easier to off myself. But I did this. For me, my husband, my life. We have a lot of work to do and a lot of pain to work through but today I am a little bit happier with myself.