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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> Overwhelmed -
Post Info TOPIC: Overwhelmed -
goodwife


Newbie

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Overwhelmed -
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Just need someone to talk to.  It's my husband who is the addict.  Unfortunately, I was probably an enabler.  I love him so!  But he's gone now, arrested again, 2nd time, had "taters" on him, whatever that is.  I wasn't raised or even anywhere close to this kind of stuff ever in my life until I met this man.. He wanted to be clean so much!  He said he was, many times.  Now I wonder.  His mother called me this morning to say he didn't intend to violate the protective order by calling me, that he was trying to delete my number from his phone and it dialed by mistake.  Technically speaking that's a violation too - her calling.  BUT my goal is never to get him in more trouble, just to protect myself and my children - who are not his.  

My heart is so broken.  I actually thought I could love him enough to make him feel like he was worth not doing all this over.  He is such a good man!  when he's sober.

I feel very alone because I don't actually know anyone in my situation.  I know there must be people somewhere who know.  Where are they?

The worst downward spiral began just before Thanksgiving - so he did not go to the family thing with me.  While there, we learned my mother had only a year to live.  I'm so grateful we had that weekend!  I just wish my husband would have been there too.  Then a week later, we get the news that mom has only weeks.  Another week it's days.. then Christmas Eve they said she wouldn't last the night.  I spent Christmas alone most of the day.  Went to the in-laws for dinner, but it was not a warm welcome.  Mom passed on New Year's day in the early morning, just a couple of hours after I got there.  The service was held that weekend - and still no husband.  

He DID go back to dad's with me later in the month, apologized to daddy and helped me bring all mom's stuff that daddy wanted to give me back home with me.  He also helped me transport stuff for my sister, who he really dislikes, because I asked him to.  It was a difficult conversation, fight like, to get him to agree to that.  

I'm sorry to vent, i just need someone to talk to.  



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k
mikah


Senior Member

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Posts: 376
Date:
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.
....hi K,,I've witnessed the shock that a 'goodwife' goes through when it's discovered that the addiction-of-the-past is still alive and active. I am grateful that my 'goodwife' gave me a second chance at things once she got over the shock, and also grateful to continue clean today so I don't need to put that trust to test!

....Naranon is perhaps a good place for you to get help.........''The Nar-Anon Family Groups are a worldwide fellowship for those affected by someone elses addiction.''

www.nar-anon.org/

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...gawd,,,please don't let me -ever- forget why I came here in the first place!!(my 'senility' prayer)
Davethewave


Guru

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Posts: 653
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It's a humbling situation. We are all powerless over the disease, and we can't control it no matter how hard we try. Nar Anon and Al Anon are all about helping people like you (and me!) learn what we must do. All we can change....is ourselves! A prayer for you both........

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Dave
MIKEF


Guru

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Posts: 2704
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Hello and Welcome to MIP

I am an addict named Mike and also a member of Nar-Anon( my now 28 year old son struggled with 7 long years of heroin addiction and shook our household and even my own recovery to its core.  I would also suggest  ................By God's grace my son is now in his 4th solid year of Recovery......Learn about the illness and help yourself.It is not unusual for the loved one of someone elses addiction wreaks more havoc in their life that that of the addict...Be with people who are just like you....In thought an prayer...

Nar-Anon Family Groups

www.nar-anon.org/
 
NarAnon
 
Worldwide meeting lists. Literature. Nar-Anon members are relatives and friends who are concerned about the addiction or drug problem of another.


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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery. 
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