As recovering addicts, we find that we are still dependent, but our dependence has shifted from the things around us to a loving God and the inner strength we get in our relationship with Him.
Basic Text, pp. 71
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For many addicts, rebelliousness is second nature. We didnt want to depend on anyone or anything, and especially not on God. The beauty of using, we thought, was that it gave us the power to be and feel anything we wanted, all by ourselves. But the price we paid for this illusory freedom was a dependence beyond our worst nightmares. Rather than freeing us, using enslaved us.
When we came to Narcotics Anonymous, we learned that dependence on God didnt have to mean what we may have thought it meant. Yes, if we wanted to be restored to sanity, we would need to tap a Power greater than ourselves. However, we could choose our own concept of this Higher Powerwe could even make one up. Dependence on a Higher Power would not limit us, we discovered; it would free us.
The Power we find in recovery is the power we lacked on our own. It is the love we were afraid to depend on others for. It is the sense of personal direction we never had, the guidance we couldnt humble ourselves to ask for or trust others to give. It is all these things, and it is our own. Today, we are grateful to have a Higher Power to depend on.
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Just for today: I will depend on the love and inner strength I draw from the God of my own understanding.
I really did not have a problem with God . I was raised in a church going family. I know in recovery the God of my Understanding , is my will to change and believe I can do it .In addiction I did not rely on God's - Will only Self - Will. Self - Will led me to place I wish I never had gone . The Higher Power and God have set me on the right path of recovery.
