Welp hello to all that are still hangin around this joint as the title says it's been a long summer for me super busy as like never before in my business and now its time for me to take a break, actually i've been working straight non stop no weeks off for 2 years, I have instated taking most weekends off and that is only because i need some recovery time.
This has been a very emotional and physically grueling time, many times I have asked for God to fill me with strength to go on, to make it to the next day, strength I didn't have by myself, I dont do this alone.
I have not been doing meetings much but I have many opportunity's to try and help others, often and most of the time I get myself in a pickle helping some and extend my hand only so far and once slapped i pull it back to let that person continue down there road.
I recently found out a friend of mine had passed away due to his addiction to pills, his heart stopped, another friend I ran into a few days ago is now homeless, he had everything 5 years ago, wife, kids, home, vehicles, job, extra home, extra vehicles, then slowly everything started falling apart on him, his marriage, his step son committed suicide and he was blamed by his wife, his job shut down, his extra home went into for closure, he moved in with his parents, he started drinking and using at this point, that was 2 years ago and now, hes got pretty much nothing, boy, what a fall, I feel so bad for him....the friend that died he introduced me to about 5 years ago and I've kept in touch with him a few times a year, then I stopped hearing from him, I knew he was using often he would call loaded.
I also have been in touch with another friend who is experiencing methamphetamine psychosis and he doesn't even know its happening, he's losing his mind and there's no helping him he wont have it, says i'm the one whose all screwed up, hes very defensive and hopeless, even mentioned dying soon which he will if he doesn't stop.
SO how's this all effecting me? I am grateful my life took a turn and at its worst I made a decision to give myself a break and try with all my heart and soul to get clean, I knew I had to turn my will and life over to God and thats what I have done daily for over 7 years now. When things get rough I turn my life over, when things are good I turn my life over, when my thinking goes to using I turn my life over, over and over and over again I ask God to take my will and my life, show me how to live and how to recover from a hopeless state of mind and body, I am hopeless dope fiend alcoholic and with out God I will die using.
Hope all are well, may the force be with you also...:)
SO how's this all effecting me? I am grateful my life took a turn and at its worst I made a decision to give myself a break and try with all my heart and soul to get clean, I knew I had to turn my will and life over to God and thats what I have done daily for over 7 years now. When things get rough I turn my life over, when things are good I turn my life over, when my thinking goes to using I turn my life over, over and over and over again I ask God to take my will and my life, show me how to live and how to recover from a hopeless state of mind and body, I am hopeless dope fiend alcoholic and with out God I will die using.
THAT is the key, to try with all your heart and soul. Thanks for the reminder!!!
-- Edited by Davethewave on Sunday 14th of September 2014 10:23:24 AM
Good to hear from you....A daily surrender, a focused concentration on our 3rd/11th Steps and some action keeps the days rolling in freedom from active addiction.Great insight on "doing the work" WE will lift up in thought and prayer those still struggling..Peace brother....:)
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Thanks posting. Sounds like you're doing what you need to do. People go back and use drugs and many die from this disease. Don't be one of them. Keep coming back.
Vin , It is good to hear you're alright. I myself ended in ICU with pneumonia and respiratory failure on July 4 of this year.I was in a drug induced coma for 5 days. It is scary waking up tied to a bed with ventilator down my throat.Prayed a lot to God and the Higher Power. My old sponsor and my new sponsor both stayed in contact with me. Thank God for NA.
Thanks for the responses good seeing you guys all here.
cdbuckberry that's friggen scary man, I'm glad your ok now, and yep family and friends and god by our side is all we have but i'm sure your grateful to hospital staff :) I have had a few brief stays in the hospital and was thankful to the staff who made it easy and comfortable in those scary times for me and it looks like i'll probably be going back into surgery again for a 3rd surgery on a hernia I have which is giving me a lot of grief this last year and causing a lot of irritation in my bowels, I have to stay on a strict diet to keep inflammation from occurring which has been happening this last 4 days now, very painful.
This is a few days off now and I already feel so much better this morning, the weight is almost off my shoulder though I did have to go look at a project last night, I informed the general contractor I do work for that IM ON VACATION and not to schedule anything in and if its an emergency I'll do it but i'd rather not LOL he starts panicking, I have to tell myself not my problem I'm looking out for me...work is only a part of living and i've made it to important for too long.
So keeping spiritually balanced in a crazy upside down world, most of which I make upside down LOL , its a job an adventure but worth fighting for.
Blessings to all
Oh quik thing I got a call from Rocky who posts here now and then, he had some trauma to his head and was in a coma for awhile he said but is doing better now but he needs our good thoughts.
Good to see ya Vin , and a couple of other familier names . Sorry about your friends . But we understand dont we ? The disease is a bitch . I stumbled a while back and got right back on the horse . When I was 90 days re-clean , found out I had Hep -c . Can you believe that ? I asked everyone I used with if they were cool . Somebody lied ! Unbelievable . An addict lying . I was 6 weeks into the treatment when the wife became the plaintiff . BUT , My middle Son called asking ME for help getting clean . Theres a miracle in progress for ya . I was over the top . 6 months clean , kinda sick , wife gone but my kid ok . Then tragedy . At my 18 months clean , my son died in a car wreck on his way to work . At noon I was identifing his body and saying goodbye . At 6 pm I was sitting in his home group . In shock , but surrounded by the program . Thats a big one to get over . But I dont use . Not today . On Sept 28 I picked up 4 years clean . NO MATTER WHAT , WE DONT USE !
Great to see you brother . All you guys . Hugs From North Carolina .
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The fundamental delusion of humanity , is to suppose that I am here and you are out there .
Dean give me a heads up and i'll see what i can do .
ANTHONY damn good to see you and I'm so so sorry for your loss .
It's incredible what we an end up going thru and still stay clean but once we're in that place that using isn't the best option we are able to make other choices, or maybe its the spiritual awakening some of us have had, what ever it is is a blessing for sure. I haven't been thru anything as tough as all of that Anthony so my hats off to you and im happy your still clean. God Bless
And its slowing down, sorta, im bidding jobs but not getting a lot of them because everyone wants it done dirt cheap but i'm not dirt cheap any more.
I feel off a ladder about 2 weeks ago that was the first time having that hapen thankfully there was a gutter on the edge of the roof I grabbed and it slowed my fall nevertheless I fell a few feet and jambed my bad knee when I hit and that sucker swelled up fat and now its all drained down into my foot which I have been working on so last few days off i have been doing a lot of bed rest and feel like a slug now but things are getting better.
At 53 years old I cant fall any more not even a few feet :)
its just now starting to cool down here in california, i think today its over cast and its 79 degrees, nice day out, we need rain badly!!!!
as the title says it's been a long summer for me super busy as like never before in my business and now its time for me to take a break, actually i've been working straight non stop no weeks off for 2 years, I have instated taking most weekends off and that is only because i need some recovery time.
I'll be in Reno next summer for "Hot August Nights" classic car events. you ought to come out.
