We want and demand that things always go our way. We should know from our past experience that our way of doing things did not work.
Basic Text, p. 93
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All of us have ideas, plans, goals for our lives. Theres nothing in the NA program that says we shouldn't think for ourselves, take initiative, and put responsible plans into action. Its when our lives are driven by self-will that we run into problems.
When we are living willfully, we go beyond thinking for ourselves--we think only of ourselves. We forget that we are but a part of the world and that whatever personal strength we have is drawn from a Higher Power. We might even go so far as to imagine that other people exist solely to do our bidding. Quickly, we find ourselves at odds with everyone and everything around us.
At this point, we have two choices. We can continue in our slavery to self-will, making unreasonable demands and becoming frustrated because the planet doesnt spin our way. Or we can surrender, relax, seek knowledge of Gods will and the power to carry that out, and find our way back to a condition of peace with the world. Thinking, taking initiative, making responsible planstheres nothing wrong with these things, so long as they serve Gods will, not merely our own.
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Just for today: I will plan to do Gods will, not mine. If I find myself at odds with everything around me, I will surrender self-will.
I learned early in recovery that self-will can take me back to the mess I was before. His will is the one I need to guide me in the right direction. Gods will is the one I follow now .