The Ninth Step tells us to make direct amends wherever possible. Our experience tells us to follow up those direct amends with long-lasting changes in our attitudes and our behaviorthat is, with indirect amends.
For example, say weve broken someones window because we were angry. Looking soulfully into the eyes of the person whose window weve broken and apologizing would not be sufficient. We directly amend the wrong weve done by admitting it and replacing the windowwe mend what we have damaged.
Then, we follow up our direct amends with indirect amends. If weve acted out on our anger, breaking someones window, we examine the patterns of our behavior and our attitudes. After we repair the broken window, we seek to repair our broken attitudes as wellwe try to mend our ways. We modify our behavior, and make a daily effort not to act out on our anger.
We make direct amends by repairing the damage we do. We make indirect amends by repairing the attitudes that cause us to do damage in the first place, helping insure we wont cause further damage in the future.
=
Just for today: I will make direct amends, wherever possible. I will also make indirect amends, mending my ways, changing my attitudes, and altering my behavior.
. ...for today,,,the best amends I can make is to stay clean and work the steps. ....as time goes,,,I look forwards to the 9th step for further cleansing from my past ways of being
__________________
...gawd,,,please don't let me -ever- forget why I came here in the first place!!(my 'senility' prayer)
I try and make amends daily.I try and change my ways .Always work on my attitude and behavior.Making daily amends can help you but some you may have done bad things to don't want to hear it . Then pray to the Higher Power for you and them .
I to make amends as swiftly as possible but i have seen that the humility it takes at times I dont really aspire for LOL in other words I pick and choose, some times i feel like people dont deserve an amends, screwum I say but honestly #1 who am i to judge #2 who am i to know better then this program what i need to do.
there may be a #3 and #4 and #5 those 2 were the first things that come to mind on this topic. I know this much if you effect my sex life like an ex girlfriend of mine keeps doing i'm going to probably say something in anger, or rather, in frustration. If you effect my finanaces like a certain contractor i am working for is doing, I am going to talk shit about you, complain and be frustrated and upset about our business and im going to retaliate by not doing any further business with him and I am going to try and get more money from him as our contract concludes soon.
So you see its ALL ABOUT ME AND MY SELFISH NEEEEEDS. I do examine myself and what i often see is shit, self centerded sick ass person who only thinks of my needs and wants.
The solution to that is these INdirect amends I have never heard them put that way and I DO do that all the time, glad I read that I am becoming a better person inspite of what I have just typed here :)
