...approval-seeking behavior carried us further into our addiction....
Basic Text, p. 14
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When others approve of what we do or say, we feel good; when they disapprove, we feel bad. Their opinions of us, and how those opinions make us feel, can have positive value. By making us feel good about steering a straight course, they encourage us to continue doing so. People-pleasing is something else entirely. We people-please when we do things, right or wrong, solely to gain another persons approval.
Low self-esteem can make us think we need someone elses approval to feel okay about ourselves. We do whatever we think it will take to make them tell us were okay. We feel good for awhile. Then we start hurting. In trying to please another person, weve diminished ourselves and our values. We realize that the approval of others will not fill the emptiness inside us.
The inner satisfaction we seek can be found in doing the right things for the right reasons. We break the people-pleasing cycle when we stop acting merely to gain others approval and start acting on our Higher Powers will for us. When we do, we may be pleasantly surprised to find that the people who really count in our lives will approve all the more of our behavior. Most importantly, though, we will approve of ourselves.
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Just for today: Higher Power, help me live in accordance with spiritual principles. Only then can I approve of myself.
. ..again,soooo true for me!..in last year's relapse,,I didn't get back to the program because my GF would get 'worried' when I'd go to meetings....ask me how -that- worked-out!
....I kind-of think that the big paranoia's I felt in deeper addiction relate to the disturbance of basic morals within...a -definite- 'breach of spiritual principles'
...just for today,,I'm grateful to be part of the solution!
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...gawd,,,please don't let me -ever- forget why I came here in the first place!!(my 'senility' prayer)
