Hello, I am just over 100 day's abstinent from opiates. I was a regular user for 8 years, I am now 26 years old and feel like a frightened new born abandoned by it's mother and left to fend for itself. I don't know how to operate or function sober, it's like somebody else entirely has had control of the wheel, and now that I have it I feel I'm bound to crash because I don't know how to drive. Everyday seems harder and today particularly has been incredibly difficult, I don't know how I managed to make it without seeking relief from substance, I suppose it's because I have my family on my side right now, but I'm very distraught. I have been to 3 meetings this whole time, and am not currently working any program nor do I have a sponsor. I don't know if I will make it another day if I don't get to work...it is hard to ask for help which I know is irrational but I searched online just now and found this so figured I'd start here. Abstinence is like a weight on my shoulders and I feel like I'm doing HARD time, most day's are almost unbearable to get through. I thought getting through initial withdrawal would be the hardest part, and as hard as it was, maintaining sobriety has proven far more daunting. Any thoughts are appreciated and thanks for reading. -Murph- Clean Date: Jan. 01, 2014
-- Edited by murphkr on Saturday 12th of April 2014 12:57:28 AM
Welcome.
Go to meetings, lots of them.
Get a sponsor and work the steps.
Pray.
Hang out with clean people.
Don't use drugs (including alcohol) no matter what.
I also had a rough first couple of years. I played drums in a Rock/Roll Band(still play) and everybody in my circle was using.I had to pull away ,find people who weren't using,find new places and things to do...After over 25 years of active addiction I had reached the point of acceptance and surrender.I had to want it more than anything and to work daily toward that goal..The physical part took awhile the mental and spiritual part of the journey is something I continue to work on daily..WE find those who get the most out of recovery find sponsorship very valuable and being among support and people who are not using most helpful.WE also find that giving back to others who are still suffering helps us in turn...A physical.mental and spiritual illness,once you put down the substance the healing can begin.The rest takes daily work..WE are always here one helping another in a loving and caring manner..WANT RECOVERY MORE THAN ANYTHING,Do the daily work and each day clean reminds you of the miracle and the lost dreams and the new possibilities that arise....Hope to hear more from ya............
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Victory wrote:............Just remember Murphkr that you are loved no matter what your addiction is
Victory
.....yeh,,it's said at meetings.....''let us love you until you learn to love yourself''.............unconditional love for self and others is definitely something I've learned thanks to the NA program
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...gawd,,,please don't let me -ever- forget why I came here in the first place!!(my 'senility' prayer)
Thankyou all for sharing. Sadly I really can't comprehend loving myself, never understood what that meant yet hear it all the time. I hope to learn that on my journey through recovery with your help.
Thankyou all for sharing. Sadly I really can't comprehend loving myself, never understood what that meant yet hear it all the time. I hope to learn that on my journey through recovery with your help.
...yeh,,I know what you mean.....was raised a pretty harsh environment,,seemed to be a scarcity of love ,,,which led me to a life of being pretty harsh on myself--running hard,,driving hard,,,partying hard,,,,,,,,
.....in recovery,,I'm learning one day at a time to slow down,,be a bit gentler on myself,,,even have some compassion for self!...........one day at a time I'm learning to care for myself and see I've got some values,,something to offer and 'party-guy' isn't it!!.......I do much better when I share and care for myself and others.
........each time I choose a kindler,gentler way to be,hold a 'boundary' cause I'm worth it,,each time I remember to remember to slow down and breathe,,,,,,,,,just for today,I'm showing love for myself
...Murph,,you've made it ~101 days clean now!---are you not already showing care and concern for yourself!?!...even if you stopped because 'it hurt too much'...that's a mighty strong sign that you've already got some compassion for self running!!! I bet you'll get some good stuff to work with if you share what you said above at a meeting of addicts, with a sponsor or counselor ...... all the best.....m
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...gawd,,,please don't let me -ever- forget why I came here in the first place!!(my 'senility' prayer)
I bet you'll get some good stuff to work with if you share what you said above at a meeting of addicts, with a sponsor or counselor ...... all the best.....m
