I need to share what I have been up to the past month.
I was using. Worse than ever before. Not a care in the world. Didn't care how I got the drugs, what they were, or if I died. I eventually did end up in the hospital after an overdose. Didn't know where I was, what was going on, or how I ended up there.
After that I started going to this church thing called house of prayer. People don't usually go unless they are going through something. You just sit and pray. Sometimes there's a speaker and sometimes they bless you.
So I went. Twice a week. I wasn't believing in god and really didn't know why I was going. This lady noticed I had been coming and was curious about my story because not many young people come. She came up and introduced herself and asked if I would share my story. So I did.
I also met this other lady there who was in recovery. I talk to her at least 10 times a day. She is amazing. So full of knowledge both about god and recovery.
I went to a meeting tonight with her. She literally had to come to my house yell at me to put pants on and get in the car. I wanted to go to the meeting but I was scared and just wanted to isolate myself. Tomorrow I shall go to another meeting.
Today I am clean. I am alive. And no one can take that away from me.
And still can't find a job. But I am not going to let that stress me out anymore.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
.....Liz,,,I'm glad you made it back alive,,,and thankful that you've found some of the help you need.
..........sometimes our HP's answer prayers we forgot to ask--I've learned to be open to 'as good,or better' than I can imagine,,,,,and am -always- thankful for guidance and protection---even in my -darkest- times!
......you know recovery,,,you know what to do next.........I pray you do it
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...gawd,,,please don't let me -ever- forget why I came here in the first place!!(my 'senility' prayer)
In support and prayer............Pain shared IS pain lessened.....God is of your own understanding, WE learn that the Power greater than ourselves involves an understanding of something that can HELP US!...Its not about doctrine of theological adherence(unless you want it to be) but of a Power that helps you stay clean, Just For Today..."Came to believe" a progression possibly changing many times over...It only has to be loving ,caring and greater than at least your addiction. You know the drill,,want it more than anything and More is always revealed...You have my URL AND #.......:)
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Sorry to hear you going through such a rough time, but very glad you found a supportive recovery friend.
She sounds like a much needed life line for you right now.
