Relapse is never an accident. Relapse is a sign that we have a reservation in our program.
Basic Text, p. 79
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A reservation is something we set aside for future use. In our case, a reservation is the expectation that, if such-and-such happens, we will surely relapse. What event do we expect will be too painful to bear? Maybe we think that if a spouse or lover leaves us, we will have to get high. If we lose our job, surely, we think, we will use. Or maybe its the death of a loved one that we expect to be unbearable. In any case, the reservations we harbor give us permission to use when they come trueas they often do.
We can prepare ourselves for success instead of relapse by examining our expectations and altering them where we can. Most of us carry within us a catalog of anticipated misery closely related to our fears. We can learn how to survive pain by watching other members live through similar pain. We can apply their lessons to our own expectations. Instead of telling ourselves we will have to get high if this happens, we can quietly reassure ourselves that we, too, can stay clean through whatever life brings us today.
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Just for today: I will check for any reservations that may endanger my recovery and share them with another addict.
And that is exactly how I USED to think, I wasn't sure I could get through tough events in my life without using, and this shows me how much I've grown away from this sort of thinking and thought process, fear doesn't grip me like it used to, I know that the God in my life will protect me and hold me close no matter what i have to deal with and it may be horrific but i don't have to use and i don't have to feel bad all the way through it, yes I'm going to feel bad I know this but I also know I have someone to lean on spiritually and I will deal with everything spiritually and the pain will be lessened.
-- Edited by BigV on Wednesday 19th of February 2014 10:28:01 AM