I can't give you any medical advice about how to detox off any particular drug but I will say that going to meetings helped me deal with the anxiety of detoxing as well as life in general. Have you tried going to some meetings? You don't have to be totally clean off drugs to go. The only requirement for membership in NA is a desire to stop using.

Thank you both....I have never been to a meeting but I have looked it up and there is one close to me the end of this week. I am going to try and work up the nerve to walk in the door. I know once I go it will get easier to face the fact that I need help but I guess it's just the initial meeting that's overwhelming, scary, nerve wracking, you name it.....

I just can't believe I have allowed myself to turn into this.......

 

Thanks again for the support, it means more to me than I can express

I can't explain why but I just filled up when I read that post you wrote back....I can honestly say that I hate myself for turning into this. For someone who doesn't even know me to tell me it's ok and that others do care really touched me. No one close to me really wants to deal with this, it's easier to not talk about it so they don't have to hear what a mess I've become so I don't really have anyone I can be honest with about it. I do have family, don't get me wrong and they love me but they love the person they think I am in their minds and not the disgusting addict I truly am. I wasn't always this person. I used to be a good person, a person that woke up every day, went to work, took care of her family and really was the rock everyone counted on. Now I'm just a shell that exists and I don't even look in the mirror anymore..I don't want to see those eyes looking back at me. I want to get into a detox program. I feel like that's the first step that I truly need but I can't seem to make any progress with that. I don't know where to go with this....I hope the meetings will atleast give me a sense of hope..I think I need that right now; more than anything.

I'm grateful I found this board..I know there are a lot of addicts out there but this board seems to be a good starting point for someone like me who feels completely alone in this nightmare.

Thank you all for allowing me to post and for your support...I hope someday I can be the person that others come to for help.

 

Lori2ni , Just walk right in the meeting ,they will say hello,you will be in a safe place , they are all addicts at the meeting. No one mentions what or how much of a substance they did, were all at meetings to share our experience strength and hope for each other which helps us get clean.It is not easy quitting using but we all started with one hour , one day , one week , one month.It will work if you want NA to work .

At meetings you meet other addicts who have gone through what you are going through now.
All of us have had to experience the pain and terror of withdrawl.
Most states have ways for addicts with little money to get help.
At meetings you will find people who can point you in the right direction.
It's also true that many addicts in recovery enter the drug rehab field in one way or another.
If your area is large enough it is very likely you will meet counselors, techs, administrators and even owners of
various types of facilities. These people will want to help you and will have knowledge about funding etc.
The most important thing is that you realize that you have a problem and need help getting past your active addiction.
The help is out there, but you need to seek it.
Go to na.org  follow the links for "find a meeting"
be aware that this info may be out of date, but it's a start.
Calling the helpline for your area has been the starting point for many people, but again some helplines are poorly staffed so don't give up if there is no answer.

I wish you all health and peace of mind.