If you love me let me fall all by myself. Don't try to spread a net out to catch me, don't throw a pillow under my a** to cushion the pain so I don't have to feel it, don't stand in the place I am going to land so that you can break the fall (allowing yourself to get hurt instead of me) ... Let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me, let me walk the valley alone all by myself, let me reach the bottom of the pit ... trust that there is a bottom there somewhere even if you can't see it. The sooner you stop saving me from myself, stop rescuing me, trying to fix my broken-ness, trying to understand me to a fault, enabling me ... The sooner you allow me to feel the loss and consequences, the burden of my addiction on my shoulders and not yours ... the sooner I will arrive ... and on time ... just right where I need to be ... me, alone, all by myself in the rubble of the lifestyle I lead ... resist the urge to pull me out because that will only put me back at square one ... If I am allowed to stay at the bottom and live there for awhile ... I am free to get sick of it on my own, free to begin to want out, free to look for a way out, and free to plan how I will climb back up to the top. In the beginning as I start to climb out .. I just might slide back down, but don't worry I might have to hit bottom a couple more times before I make it out safe and sound ... Don't you see ?? Don't you know ?? You can't do this for me ... I have to do it for myself, but if you are always breaking the fall how am I ever suppose to feel the pain that is part of the driving force to want to get well. It is my burden to carry, not yours ... I know you love me and that you mean well and a lot of what you do is because you don't know what to do and you act from your heart not from knowledge of what is best for me ... but if you truly love me let me go my own way, make my own choices be they bad or good ... don't clip my wings before I can learn to fly ... Nudge me out of your safty net ... trust the process and pray for me ... that one day I will not only fly, but maybe even soar.
Passion Recovering Addict
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It doesn't matter how you use it - Meth can kill you
In Memory Of
William Scott Simmons
Oct 22, 1957 - Oct 16, 2004
http://www.scotty-simmons.memory-of.com
PAIN ISNT THE INLY MOTIVATING FACTOR IN RECOVERY,,,,
THE GIVING AND RECIEVING OF HELP FROM OTHERS IN KIND ACTS OF EMPATHY,,,,
IS WHATS KEEPING MEEEE,,, IN RECOVERY THIS DAY !!!
THAT I THINK IS LOVE IN ACTION,,,,
COMPASSION AND LOVE ARE USELESS IF I CANNOT PRACTICE THEM IN MY DAILY LIFE !!!
ITS GREAT TO HAVE OTHER RECOVERING ADDICTS NEAR (OR IN COMMUNICATION)WHEN IM DISTRESSED !!
MY EXPERIENCE IS THAT MANY USING ADDICTS HAVE BEEN SPARED THOSE LAST FEW YEARS OF THE PURE HELL OF THE LATER STAGES OF ADDICTION JUST CAUSE NA CARES FOR DESPERATE DYING ADDICTS,,, AND SHARING FROM RECOVERING ADDICTS SHOWED USERS HOW MUCH MORE HORRIBLE AND PAINFUL IT CAN GET ,,, AND MANY REALISED THAT THE ONLY POSSIBLE OUTCOMES OF CONTINUING TO USE CAN ONLY BE JAILS,INSTITUTIONS AND DEATH !!!!
IVE HEARD ADDICTS TELL, AND I MYSELF DO SINCIERLY THINK THAT THE PAIN OF WITHDRAWL IS WHAT CAN BE A MOTIVATING FACTOR TO GET INTO RECOVERY !!!!!
JUST FOR TODAY WE HAVE A CHOICE !!!
( A WORLD FIGURE ONCE SAID=
FREEDOM IS NOT A CHOICE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG,
BUT IS VERILY THE CHOICE OF RIGHT ))
HUGS
RAAN AN ADDICT
CLEAN AND SERENE JUST FOR TODAY,, IN THE NA WAY
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
In NA we carry the message not the addict, and the message is that the 12 steps have worked for thousands of addicted people. You don't have to hit a HARD bottom, by sharing our experience strenght and hope. I know and addict with 30 years clean, she got clean when she was 17. She didn't have to live on the bottom for years. She didn't use for 25 years like I did but she an Addict just like me. we're all the same but our paths are different and we have different bottoms. I had (have) a very high tolerance to pain and I spent years hovering above my mid level bottom till my world got small and gray and I felt like a ballon with the air let out empty inside and hopeless. But I also agree that you can't keep dusting someone off and proping them up. A very profound and painful subject, do you let them go even though they might die? What's the fine line between helping and enabling? Food for thought. Bob.
why do we say that the newcomer is the most important person at a meeting???
simply cause we want to give freely and with gratitude ,, what was given us that way !!!
my first sponsor was was hard headed , no mincer of words,,,he came accross as pushy,dominating,loud and angry,,,and in fear i heard him out ,, but thats it !!!
then one evening after a meeting,over a cup of coffee,, he was in a different tone,,he began as usual, aggressive and all, but siddenly his voice softens,he gets gentle in his words,and i see he actually had tears in his eyes,, when he gave me a message,, and by God,, that worked !!!
my only thought at that time
"for Gods sake, why is this man crying for me???"
the i realized he cared for my well being like no one else did at that time !!!
it was like his soul was crying for me saying
"i care for you,, cant you see it,, how do i say it ???"
My family had given up,, doctors saw no hope,i had no friends left,,,, but here was this man,, a complete other than he was an addict too,,,, caring like i was getting embarassed,, and at times suspicious,,,,
however,,, the Light came through,,,,and i grasped what he was sharing one on one with me,,,,
Nytepassion, i wish you could see my tears ,, my heart and soul cries ,, with you,,,and in empathy for you !!!
Love and hugs,,, and all the best just for today !!!
Raman an addict
clean and serene just for today the NA WAY !!
With you in the Spirit of Recovery !!!
-- Edited by Raman at 04:55, 2006-01-31
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
