The subconscious mind schemes and denies, ask Anna Freud. Although she wasn't a member of NA, she knew a lot of things. That's why I do step 4; "make a searching and fearless moral inventory." But how do I know if I'm genuinely searching and fearless?
I do my step 4 with my HP. Anything we discover is a direct route to freedom and better living.
I gain from the shared experience, strength, and hope of other addicts here.
I work on being fearless; with literally millions of NA addicts and my HP supporting me, problems don't stand a chance.
What's my worst fear, my worst ego defense mechanism? It's conquered already. All I have to do is live in the solution today.
Fear is a scheme that my own mind uses to protect itself. Fear is a powerless perception that can easily be shattered. By courage.
-- Edited by johnjames228 on Wednesday 23rd of October 2013 09:42:33 PM
By surrendering control, we gain a far greater power.
Basic Text, p. 44
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When we were using, we did everything we could to run things our way. We used every scheme imaginable to bring our world under control. When we got what we wanted, we felt powerful, invincible; when we didnt, we felt vulnerable, defeated. But that didnt stop usit only led to more efforts to control and manipulate our lives into a manageable state.
Scheming was our way of denying our powerlessness. As long as we could distract ourselves with our plans, we could put off accepting that we were out of control. Only gradually did we realize that our lives had become unmanageable and that all the conning and manipulating in the world was not going to put our lives back in order.
When we admit our powerlessness, we stop trying to control and manage our way to a better lifewe surrender. Lacking sufficient power of our own, we seek a Power greater than ourselves; needing support and guidance, we ask that Power to care for our will and our lives. We ask others in recovery to share their experience with living the NA program instead of trying to program our own lives. The power and direction we seek is all around us; we need only turn away from self to find it.
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Just for today: I will not try to scheme and manipulate my way to a manageable life. Through the NA program, I will surrender myself to my Higher Powers care.
