hello everyone......i am not new to recovery but am new to online meetings....i would like to just talk to women at least for now. i cannot stay clean although i have been trying to on my own for a few months. i will say i am just going to smke pot and drink, and i will do that for a while, but then something harder comes along and i usually can't say no even though i don't wanna use it. i have issues w na meetings in my area, maybe thats part of my problem. i have been in and out of na since age 16, and im 28. i have a best friend of 22 years that can use heavy shit one day and be totally ok w not using for a while, which i keep thinking i can do but does not work. or she can do coke all night but when its gone shes ok w that.....but i freak the fuck out. i don't wanna lose my friendship w her, but there always seems to be drugs around her and her house.....i really really don't wanna stop beingfriends.....this is really worrying me, any suggestions? thank you, emi
there is no such thing as a social user. it took a while for me to learn this, also i had to rethink my idea of what :friend; meant. if you dont want to go to meetings right now i hope you have the basic text and if not i recommend getting one and to do a bit of reading . it will help.
One of our suggeations is to avoid people, places, and things you used with or at!! We're drug- free, not drug-proof!! Get to some meetings. The third tradition ensures that you ARE welcome there. Call some other recovering women. You will find new friends in this process-REAL FRIENDS!! I have friends today like I never imagined possible!! :) You can email me too, if you want. Its okay to be afraid. Courage is not the "abscense of fear but rather the willingness to walk through it"
Love Danielle
PS Thats a good idea for wanting to stick with the women. Its the women in here who taught me how to change from a scared little girl to a woman.
__________________
Danielle 10-14-04
"Lost dreams awaken and new possibilities arise"
im there with you emi. its tough to let go of your friends. i think the only way is to wait until you get to the point where you realize theyre not youre real friends. im on the verge of that point. but i cant let go. im living my old life as a new person. and its hard to fit in. its hard to receive suport. thats what NA is for. now i know. now i know i need to get to meetings. to make NA friends. and i hope ill do anything to make that possible.
you can also write me at any point, i would love to talk to you
When I was in treatment I was told, "If you haven't gotten rid of your dealer phone numbers/friends that use, you haven't done the first step." I was setback because I thought I had done the first step. In reality I hadn't. I had to go to my room and think about this. This was a change of lifestyle. Did I really want to be sober or not. I didn't want to let go of these people who used, but I knew deep inside that if I didn't I would die. I cried. I thought I was in love with some of these ex-users. I thought I was in love with my ex-dealer(s). I realized that these were the only r/t's that I had ever known...unhealthy. It was ok for me because an unhealthy r/t was better than no r/t. The truth was I didn't know how to have r/t with people who didn't use/drink. I needed help in how to do that and found it in the program. Also, I was more worried about what "they" would think of me. I found that I needed to start putting myself first. I never needed anyone to drag me down or "lead" me down the wrong path. I was the one who is powerless. I'm the one with the problem, not them. It is none of my business if the other person has a drug problem. I have to worry about my own problem. I had to stay away from these people who were using for ME, NOT THEM because when I got around them I wanted to use. They didn't have to say or do anything. I had to start taking responsibitlity for me and tell them that, "I DON'T use anymore, not, "I CAN'T." We have to start putting our own sobriety first. Maybe, God willing, they too can find recovery.
I tried to use socially several times over the past few months because of my ex cant beat em join em also curiosity it didn't work I didn't lose control and he couldn't understand that and I couldn't understand why he lost control so I quess I am on both sides of the fence in a way I quess I was naive enough to think it could be a shared weekend recreational thing I don't know when we went to couples house instead of us alone I didn't enjoy only few times when we were alone he and they did not understand this now that we are split up I have no inclination to do it any comments????
