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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> Struggling to accept powerlessness - Please Help
Post Info TOPIC: Struggling to accept powerlessness - Please Help
MIKEF


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Struggling to accept powerlessness - Please Help
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Hello and WELCOME to MIP! I am an addict named Mike...

First of all, any day clean for an addict is a miracle so blessings on 5 weeks! Our readings in Narcotics Anonymous tell us that WE are powerless when the driving force in our lives is beyond our control..WE have tried to abstain from drugs and compulsive behaviors with some success for some time without a program only to find that our addiction starts to kick back in..Our addiction is a physical(whatever substance)the mental(the obsession constant thoughts of using drugs and  the compulsion the using of drugs no matter what the consequence and the spiritual(empty feeling of lonliness, emptyness and nothing to fill that void even when we put down the substance) the  illness that affects all areas of our lives....WE begin the healing by our surrender and putting down the substance but that doesn't help us with our unmanageability(the outward=jails,institutions,family problems,relationships,job losses etc)and the inner=personal  unmanageability unhealthy or untrue belief systems about ourselves,the world around us and the people in our lives..You have evidenced abstinence without a program and for you the sun didnt shine(nothing addressing the mental and spiritual part of this illness)It is good for you to realize that after a relapse there is something you need to do different this time a major awareness..

WE always suggest making a meeting,listening to learn .listening for a sponsor and getting into what WE call our Solution ,the application of the STEPS,worked with a sponsor and applied in all areas of your life.That is our program.The fellowship and meetings are very helpful but the true recovery is in our STEPS.I understand your anxiety of going to meetings,I don;t believe many of us,including myself was psyched to go..I knew I had to do whatever it took to begin recovery and I found the true help in our program.

Our 2nd STEP tells us WE came to believe THAT a Power GREATER THAN OURSELVES ,could restore us to sanity...Its not about any religious dogma(unless that be your choice)the guidelines are this Power(GOD if you like) only need be loving and caring and greater than you(and your addiction at least)Many atheists,agnostics and people of all beliefs or no beliefs have found recovery through NA.It is a process of coming to believe,not an event and that process may change many times in your journey.It could be the Power of the group or the love WE encounter in the fellowship as our Higher Power,the Spiritual Principles of the program,some see it as Good Orderly Direction.Its not really about who or what this Power is but only how it can help you in your recovery a day at a time..Three principles WE use to move us forward are Honesty,Open mindedness and Willingness..WE also find that those who value sponsorship get the most from our program.A sponsor,one who has a working knowledge of the STEPS and traditions and even Concepts...You can seek a sponsor at meetings...I would highly suggest you show up it can be the best thing you do for your life .There are many meetings .You can GOOGLE  www.na.org/  for info on meetings near you and look at our literature that will help you understand a little of the program. You have taken some great steps forward,putting down the substance,admitting you have a problem,seeking support and hopefully open to suggestions....Ours is a message of HOPE and a promise of freedom from active addiction,a day at a time,that takes some work and guidance with a Higher Power and application of the spiritual principles of the program,the STEPS...Hope to hear more from you .I will lift you in support and prayer...smilesmile  

NA

www.na.org/



-- Edited by MIKEF on Monday 16th of September 2013 02:00:16 AM



-- Edited by MIKEF on Monday 16th of September 2013 02:01:54 AM

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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery. 
SeekingAmber


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Hello, I am new here. I need help. I know I have addiction issues but I cannot seem to admit that I am powerless over drugs or alcohol. I can easily say my life was and still is very unmanageable but not that I don't have the power to control it. I feel like when I say that I am powerless over these things that it will sneak up on me and reclaim my life. If I am in power and control of my life,  I can stop myself from using again.

I have never been to a meeting. I know a few people who attend meetings here where I live that I am NOT comfortable being around. One person still uses and is best friends with my ex who also uses. I feel this could be a huge step in the wrong direction to be around either of them.  I have to fight the urge to call my ex more than I have to fight to stay clean right now so any triggers of him scare me. 

So, this is why I have decided to give this a try for now...  I know I am "supposed" to surrender to God as I see him but I don't know how.

I was clean for 2 years and didn't seek treatment.  It was a rough 2 years to say the least. I never understood how people always said they felt so great and the sun shined brighter and food tasted better. My world was dark and gray. I did relapse about 8 months ago but I have been clean now for 5 weeks today. 

I know I need to do it differently this time. I truly want to end this addictive cycle in my life and recover - not just stop using drugs. I know I need support so that is why I am here. I hope you might be able to help me work the steps and understand what they mean to you and how you applied them to your situation.

Amber



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Dave R


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Welcome.
I suggest you start going to meetings.
It is in meetings that I found the experience, strength, and hope to recover from addiction.
It is meetings that I began to learn how to feel joy again.
I can't fight the disease of addiction by myself. When I try to do this, my live sucks.
I can only recover from addiction and have a good life by getting help from the people in NA.

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avid


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Hi and welcome to MIP
There are a lot of good reasons NOT to go to meetings.
But there is one good reason TO go.
It can save your life.
You didn't post where you live in your profile so I couldn't look it up for you,
but if you go to NA.org and follow the links to "find a meeting" you will come up with a list of meetings in your area.
Depending on the size of your town, there many be a few or a lot, but in most places there are enough to find a few you are comfortable with.
Once there you can listen to different people and after getting to know a few ask one to be your sponsor and begin working the 12 steps of recovery
This was a life changing event for me. It started me on a road that has changed my life for the better and is continuing to do so.
It took me three tries of getting into my truck, and driving to a meeting site before I actually worked up the courage to walk through the doors, but I did
and have never made a better decision in my life.
I wish you well.

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Keep it in the day.
cdbuckberry


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Welcome seeking amber . They all say you should go to meetings talk to someone while you are there.We all had to come to the reality of us being powerless over our addiction.I know I had to listen at meetings to what was being said .I had to become honest ,open-minded , and have willingness to admit how powerless I really was and that I needed help . It can work , I have 8 years 9 months and 16 days clean .I used for over 39 years of my life .NA works if you let it , you have to believe you can do it .

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Dustina ILia


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Glad you are here "SeekingAmber". I understand where you are coming from. I had a hard time accepting that I was an addict and that I was Powerless over my addiction, but what I did know is that whenever I used-I had an allergic reaction and broke out into handcuffs. It took me 5 prison sentences before I finally started to question IF it might be the drugs. Duh! Some people view that accepting that we are powerless makes us look like Wimps but when we finally do come to accept that we are powerless over drugs and that they do make our lives unmanagable....WE take our power back! Addicts cannot get clean on sheer will power or we would have done that a long time ago. We think that we can stop any time that we want to after all, we have done it several times before. We look at the times that we have been able to stop but we don't look at the fact that we could NOT stay stopped. We always had to go back to using. There is definately a difference between clean time and recovery. Clean time is just that.....we are clean from any mind altering, mood changing substance but if we don't treat our addiction with an on-going program of recovery, we will most surely go back to using. It is just a matter of time. The disease of addiction manifest itself in our thinking and warps our perception. It effects us emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. This disease is about obsession, complusion with self-centerdness being at the core. If we do not treat our perceptions, our thinking with an on-going program of recover.....we are just clean but just sick as a bed bug and crazy. Using drugs is merely a symptom of our disease. I would suspect that you were pretty far out there in your thinking processes and your life was already chaotic BEFORE you ever picked up the drugs. So here you are now, you have put down the drugs and you are back to the person you used to be before you ever picked up the drugs. You were miserable and in pain. Going to the meetings, getting a sponsor, working the steps helps to treat our diseased way of thinking so that we are less likely to go back to using again. Try not to judge the miracle that is awaiting for you based of the few people you might know who are in the program. Your disease is just using that as an excuse to not go. This program is the ONLY thing that ever gave me a day clean and serene so I have stuck around since 2000 and life has gotten good. Just do it! Go to meeting, get a Sponsor, work and learn to live the steps and the spiritual principles and keep coming back, no matter what.

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"Dusty" D. & "Willyboy"
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