I hope I'm doing this right, I'm new and I don't even know if I belong here but I guess I figured this was a good way to find out...
Here's my story. I'm 24. I was diagnosed with kidney stones when I was 14 and endometriosis when I was 18, both of which are very painful. To date I have had 11 surgeries in the past six years. One of them had complications and needed two more surgeries to save my life, I spent a week in the hospital and two months recovering at home. All this time, docs were prescribing me prescription pain meds to the point where I developed a tolerance... now I can take 15 mg of oxycodone and barely feel it. I'm still in pain, daily, and was in the ER this morning where they basically told me they thought I was an addict and weren't going to give me any more medication. So now I'm home, still in pain, and super upset about the way I was treated by the doctors. I feel like if I wasn't in pain, I wouldn't need the meds. But they think I'm taking too much, and maybe I am, but only because I have a tolerance from all those surgeries. I'm supposed to have another surgery soon and after that I'm hoping I won't need anything but it seems like they think I shouldn't need anything right now. I understand how addictive those meds are and how easy it is to get hooked and I want to combat that, but not be in pain, and I just don't know how to do that. What do you folks do when you have a really painful condition? Is it ok to use prescription meds then? What about when doctors won't help you 'because you're an addict'? What do you DO? And after my surgery... hopefully I won't be in as much pain... but how do I keep myself from falling into the trap of taking whatever they're willing to give me and winding up in a vicious circle?
There's an NA meeting near me on thursday, but I don't know if I belong there. It's open so I guess anybody can go. I'm just kinda mixed up and need somebody to understand where I'm at and where I need to be. :-/
Well I'm sobbing right now because my doctor is refusing to see me, supposedly on the basis that I should be seeing another doctor (the one who is doing my surgery) but I know it's really because he thinks I'm an addict and he doesn't want to be responsible for me anymore. So I think I'd call that a negative consequence. But what the heck else was I supposed to do??
I'm so sorry to hear your story.
The one thing that I never know what to say to people in the rooms,
is when the genuinely suffer from severe chronic pain.
There is a guy who comes and goes from program. He has one leg. The other was amputated following a motorcycle accident.
He has chronic pain, and so takes meds. But that doesn't mean he's safe from the dangers of these powerful drugs.
I have a question for you.
Do you think about the meds alot?
Is getting and using the drugs the most important thing for you?
If your doctors stop prescribing them, will you buy them on the street?
If your life is controlled in any way by the getting and using of pain meds,
then you might benefit from Narcotics Anonymous.
If you go to enough meetings and tell your story, sooner or later you will meet people with a similar tale.
I wish you well, and please come back and let us know how your doing.
Hi there..
The docs get you addicted and then get critical of you for that....
My name is Raman.....im n addict.
What im sensing for you is REHAB.
You really need to be under care. This addiction thing aint recovered from by sheer willpower. And in your case, being young, you need "Lifetime Guidance"
If you know an interventionist they will get you in-house.
NA meetings will provide the ground for recovery and growth.
The point is that the authorities may diagnose whether you need a Prpgram of total abstinence or one that involves harm-reduction.
Either way its worth the try.....best of luck and cyber hugs!
__________________
Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I saw the doc today and he gave me a new prescription - 40 5 mg pills, to last me at least until my normal doc gets back into the office on Tuesday. That should be plenty but in the past I have gone through pills too fast. Right now I'm not at a place where I can abstain completely from pills due to my physical pain, but I CAN keep myself from overusing them and running out too early and winding up in a bad situation (in pain, no meds) again.
That's where I really need support. Would you guys help hold me accountable to taking only what I need when I need it? The way I figure, I should be taking 3-4 pills a day MAX. That way they'll last 10-12 days. But my willpower is not strong enough to manage it alone. Will you please help support me during this time? After my surgery, which is supposed to be scheduled soon, I'm hoping to be pill-free... so I can help myself do that now by weaning off the high doses I was taking before. This might be the only place I can get support without judgment, as if I admit to slipping up to someone IRL, all I feel is judgment, not empowerment. I need to be reminded that I CAN do it with the help of God and support people!
We are glad to support any addict who wants to stop using drugs.
I understand you wanting to only use pain meds as prescribed,
but this is a very VERY slippery slope for many of us.
I urge you to go to a meeting of Narcotics Anonymous.
It sounds like you could benefit from the experience.
Try a few different groups and let the people know where your at.
You'll get alot of different kinds of responses, and yes, some people
may get judgemental. but there will also be others who have been right
where you are now and can offer their experience, strength, and hope.
I went to a meeting last night. Everyone was SO nice to me to the point that I even felt brave enough to speak up and tell them what I was going through. They invited me to keep coming to meetings as much as I wanted while I figure out if I really fit the definition of an addict or not, they gave me a list of other women in the program that I could call and reach out to, and they told me that they knew of a few other people in the program who suffer from chronic pain issues, and that those people do take medication as prescribed, but they still come to meetings and 'stay clean' as far as not using anything in a way it's not intended/prescribed, not buying and using on the streets, etc. She gave me some information to look at and said there was more information specific to what I'm going through on the local NA website. I am really glad I went and I think I'll go back. I met some of the nicest people I've ever met there last night!
