We were trapped by our need for the instant gratification that drugs gave us.
Basic Text, p. 25
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I want what I want, and I want it now! Thats about as patient as most of us ever got in our active addiction. The obsession and compulsion of our disease gave us a one-track way of thinking; when we wanted something, thats all we thought about. And the drugs we took taught us that instant gratification was never more than a dose away. Its no wonder that most of us came to Narcotics Anonymous with next to no patience.
The problem is, we cant always get what we want whenever we want it. Some of our wishes are pure fantasy; if we think about it, well realize we have no reason to believe those wishes will be fulfilled in our lifetimes. We probably cant even fulfill all our realistic desires; we certainly cant fulfill them all at once. In order to acquire or achieve some things, we will have to sacrifice others.
In our addiction we sought instant gratification, squandering our resources. In recovery we must learn to prioritize, sometimes denying the gratification of some desires in order to fulfill more important long-term goals. To do so requires patience. To find that patience, we practice our program of recovery, seeking the kind of full-bodied spiritual awakening that will allow us to live and enjoy life on lifes terms.
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Just for today: Higher Power, help me discover whats most important in my life. Help me learn patience, that I can devote my resources to the important things.
Back in my 20's my friends spotted my addictive nature even though we didn't know it at the time.
They used to goof on me that there were three words that described me "good, more, now"
If something got me high it was good.
If it was good, I wanted more.
If I wanted more, I wanted it right now.
so sick, so sad.
My HP gifted me with a program called Narcotics Anonymous.
It is the light that showed the way out of the darkness of my misery.
If I had to go there to get here then I'm ok with it.
You never have to use again.
