Many of us have found that setting aside quiet time for ourselves is helpful in making conscious contact with our Higher Power.
Basic Text, p. 95
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Most of us pay lip-service to the value of conscious contact with a Higher Power. Yet how many of us consistently take time to improve that conscious contact? If weve not already established a regular regimen of prayer and meditation, today is the day to start one.
A quiet time need not be long. Many of us find that twenty to thirty minutes is enough time to quiet ourselves, focus our attention with a spiritual reading, share our thoughts and concerns in prayer, and take a few moments to listen for an answer in meditation. Our quiet time need not be lengthy to be effective, provided it is consistent. Twenty minutes taken once a month to pray will probably do little but frustrate us with the poor quality of our conscious contact. Twenty minutes taken regularly each day, however, renews and reinforces an already lively contact with our Higher Power.
In the hustle and bustle of the recovering addicts day, many of us end up going from morning to night without taking time out to improve our conscious contact with the God weve come to understand. However, if we set aside a particular time of the day, every day, as quiet time, we can be sure that our conscious contact will improve.
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Just for today: I will set aside a few moments, once I finish reading todays entry, to pray and meditate. This will be the beginning of a new pattern for my recovery.
I have gone through many stages with this thing we call prayer. When I first got clean many years ago, I found prayer to be a HUGE asset. It was like I had this direct connection to God. Being new, I would ask for things....and get them. I don't think that is what prayer should be about, but regardless, that's the way it went then. After a while, I stopped getting my "instant gratification" from it. The things I would ask for stopped happening. I went through an odd time where it felt like God abandoned me. My sponsor said it was like growing up. It's was like when I was a kid and my parents would hold my hand all the time, buy me what I wanted, feed me, etc. After a while, I had to start doing those things for myself. My relationship with God seems to be similar. When I was new, God did everything for me. Later, I was expected to do it myself. It made sense to me.
After that, I got my first idea of what prayer really is. I had called my sponsor complaining that I did not have as much time for prayer and meditation anymore. I had regularly spent 30 min to an hour in prayer daily and now I couldn't. It seems that all the things I had gotten back in recovery were taking up more of my time (wife, kids, work, meetings, etc.). He asked me why I thought that playing with my children wasn't prayer. Why being of service to other addicts, or regular people for that matter, wasn't prayer. It made me feel better at the time, but I didn't understand it until later.
Greg P has a lot of material on this idea, and I've always found comfort and direction in his words. The idea is that the actions we take in a day is far more important than what we say in prayer. It has taught me that if I do positive things, I'm sending positive prayers. If I do negative things, I'm sending negative prayers. I can't do or say something to hurt others during my day, and then say some "high and mighty" stuff in my prayers, because my actions will always tell the truth of where my recovery is headed. ***The greatest prayer that I can ever offer to my God is the way I live***. My meditation is practiced by listening. Unfortunately, the God of my understanding doesn't speak directly to me. (If he did I would probably have a padded cell somewhere.) So, my meditation is about learning to listen to others. Especially in a meeting. (NOT WAITING TO TALK - ACTUALLY LISTENING) My God speaks to me through other people.
Today, I have just over a year clean. Since my last relapse, I haven't been able to concentrate that well. I've tried these long prayer times, but my mind wanders and I usually start obsessing about all kinds of things. So, I keep it fairly short. I say the serenity prayer, The 3rd Step prayer, give thanks for being clean, ask for guidance, and a gratitude list. My gratitude list is probably the most important component to keeping positive and to keep my mind from wandering. I was actually ruining my day sometimes by praying too long. I would be more upset after praying, then before I started. At times, I feel like I've lost something since I first got clean and relapsed. (Maybe it's Brain Damage ;D) But recently I came across a quote by Greg P. His work is notorious for being misquoted, but even if this is, it has helped me...
"Just for Today decreasing our need to have a creative relationship with God!"
I don't think I need some special or creative relationship with God today. It just needs to be a "personal" relationship. My prayers today involves more than just words. It's much more about what I do, than what I say. My meditation is not just being quiet, it's about listening. Listening to the others. If I'm not willing to listen to you, then I'm not willing to listen my God, who speaks through you.
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***All Thought is Meditation***All Action is Prayer***
Wow Kaz....lotsa good stuff here
Thanks for sharing.
I spend some quality time with my HP i.e. God every morning.
I know when I have established 'conscious contact' when I get a certain warm feeling.
It's wonderful. I thank Him for guiding my life today.
I'll say a couple of prayers, pondering the meanig of each phrase.
Then I just try and quiet my mind and be receptive.
It is probably the best recovery habit I have developed.
I try and set aside time everyday to meditate and think of the great thing I have now called recovery , I am blessed to have my life back after most of my life in addiction.
