You're here, I do believe not using, and therefore you just proved you ARE worth fighting for, you yourself are fighting for you and winning another day Clean. Congratulations!
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Hi Liz,,, my name is Raman and Im an addict, clean and serene just for today in NA !
A day clean is a day won, in more ways than one Liz.
Take care dear,,,,, this is an "I" Program. Take ownership of your feelings, then you'll at least know what you're feeling and not blame others for having that feeling.
What if I took a moment to look at this situation and acknowledge that "I am feeling resentful that she sits on her fat ass and orders me around". I know now how I'm actually feeling in this situation. Thoughts make feelings and negative feelings make the disease.
And once I know Im feeling negative, and that it can take me away from recovery, then I can take responsibility for clearing it, changing my outlook.
So in order to change that resentment into acceptance, all we have to do is think "I have no control over another persons action, but I sure can express feelings and have a proper discussion"
You are worth millions....you are a clever young woman and can certainly manage !
Now all that having been said, the Text does say "relationships can be a terribly painful area, as we tend to project and fantasize what will happen". Too much expectation can be the relationship killer !
But take heart, you know you can sort things out with your future husband !
"As long as the ties that bind us are stronger than those that would tear us apart, all will be well !"
Thanks for letting me share !!!!!
recovery hugs (((((((((((((Liz))))))))))))))))
-- Edited by Raman on Monday 3rd of June 2013 08:21:32 AM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I look at your by-line "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" a great testament to LIVE by....You know that picking up will only enhance any negativity going on inside, maybe block something out for minute but WE know based on the evidence where it takes US. Resentments are poison and it sounds as if ,without a major battle ,you may need to communicate these feelings and share how you feel with your boyfriend,, RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE TERRIBLY PAINFUL AREAS, that's what our BT tells us but through application of our spiritual principles we can work through trying situations. Yeah I know ,,,,blah blah,,Im angry ,feeling resentful, depressed and tired of the whole mess...(my identification been there a million times AND I would say ) don't want to hear it.,,but I had to learn to address the situations without using and it took WORK!....Just For Today, ,don't use .communicate your true feelings, work toward a solution through communication and action and this shall pass. I know for this old hardhead, my using kept me in a constant state of Manic Depression and when I finally got clean it took awhile to calm the roller coaster ride and some daily work which to this day I still have to practice.. I will lift you up in prayer and in support...You are a child of God(my beliefs) and that alone makes you worth something.......NO GOD,NO PEACE.......KNOW GOD,KNOW PEACE!
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Some days we feel great Some days we feel like shit. It's just how it goes. Hope today is better for you.
And whether high or low this too shall pass. For me over time as my Journey of Recovery continues the roller coaster is less and less of a roller coaster. Stuff continues to happen of course, both on the plus and minus sign of the ledger (how else can I continue to grow), but tend to less and less feel and act or react in extremes. Maybe that's what an inkling of peace and serenity is about.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Liz ,don't use ,you will defeat the whole purpose of why you got clean.I to am on disability , my wife threatens to move me out once a week , but we keep trying ,she works two jobs .I do the cooking.I have had thoughts of using over the past 8 years of being clean,it is not worth throwing it all away .
How you doing. Sorry to hear you are having rough time and really not getting the support you need from the homefront. The beauty of that is the fellowship. The BF needs to realize how important your journey means to you and without it there would be nothing between u for myself Nothing would have mattered but being high fuck everyone else excuse my french. Living life on lifes terms is what we learn to do. He needs to appreciate you more and if he serious about you suggest Narnon so he can understand the madness and chaos we have to deal with sometimes. I know u dont know me i m new here but I am an old timer in recovery. I am just offering to you what was so freely given to me. Other than that I hope this finds u well i will keep u in my prayers that the journey gets easier if u need to talk or need a guys point Till then Peace.
-- Edited by Adam B on Saturday 8th of June 2013 12:16:37 PM
Thanks Adam. He is also an addict and had been in recovery for 10+ years. He is selfish and thinks that the women does everything. I have a problem with that because I work full time and he does nothing.then he expects me to come home cook dinner do laundry take care of the dog. Today I took a nap because I still have pneumonia and haven't been sleeping well. I wake up and he says make dinner and fold my laundry. I was like excuse me? Yeah sure you've been packing and getting ready for your trip but I do very hard labor everyday and I'm coughing up a lung. He couldn't do one thing? Then he makes abig deal about me leaving my plate on the table because I'm resting and the food will stick to the plate. I said nobody asked you to take care of it. I would have when I got up. Sorry I work harder than you.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Thanks Adam. He is also an addict and had been in recovery for 10+ years. He is selfish and thinks that the women does everything. I have a problem with that because I work full time and he does nothing.then he expects me to come home cook dinner do laundry take care of the dog. Today I took a nap because I still have pneumonia and haven't been sleeping well. I wake up and he says make dinner and fold my laundry. I was like excuse me? Yeah sure you've been packing and getting ready for your trip but I do very hard labor everyday and I'm coughing up a lung. He couldn't do one thing? Then he makes abig deal about me leaving my plate on the table because I'm resting and the food will stick to the plate. I said nobody asked you to take care of it. I would have when I got up. Sorry I work harder than you.
I've been Clean 32+ years and married 32+ years. IMO doesn't sound like a healthy relationship for you. I know you didn't ask but saying it anyway. Not actively using and being in Recovery are not necessarily synonymous.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
What mike wanted to say, dump that chump. We are only going to be about as healthy as those we are hanging around with. Stick with winners and you will look, feel, act, and reap the benefits of being one. Congrats on working hard to improve your life and having a desire. I didn't get clean/sober till I was 29 so I'm sure that you have time to get-r-done before I did.
Congrats on working hard to improve your life and having a desire. I didn't get clean/sober till I was 29 so I'm sure that you have time to get-r-done before I did.
