Hello to all and thank you for your responses to my post. I was kind of sick [HUGE UNDERSTATEMENT} for a couple days so couldn't really respond.

Every day, every hour really, I am feeling better.  Went to a terrific AA meeting today.  Got there early, new good behavior for me. Stayed late. Gave hugs, received hugs and lots of New Years wishes.

I'm just now educating myself about benzo addiction, abuse and withdrawal.  Better late than never, I guess.  But if any other smarty-pants out there like myself decide to self-medicate with random tranquilizers and mix them with various other drugs, please find out what HELL you are getting yourself into.  A friend passed on this link to me:   http://www.benzodiazepine.org/AnxietyFright.html   and I found it very helpful. 

Just knowing that the intense anxiety, fears, etc. I was experiencing were caused by these innocent-looking but powerful drugs really has helped me. 

Just need to say:  I am powerless over drugs and alcohol and my life has become unmanageable.   OK, I feel better now.

One day at a time, one thought at a time, one prayer at a time, one smile, one blessing, one hug.

God bless us all.  We are here and alive.  We are all miracles in progress.