So I tried to go into an nar anon board, and I was blocked because 'I'm a known spammer'. Give me a brake I am not!!
Anyway I get a red light ticket, and see it's not my daughter driving her car. She knows this is forbidden and I'm all twisted about how to respond. Don't want to be an enabler, and I should just consifcate the car. I had so many signs. 7 or 8 incidents she either swore were not her fault, or she denied any knowledge of what happened.
And I saw her gas usage was above what she could do herself. I suspect it's the heroin addict boyfrined driving her car yet again. At 24 years of age I really need to cut her off and stop trying to control her. There are so many levels, I guess I don't expect any answers. Maybe I should go back to naranon or try al anon. Phew thanks for letting me vent......
Hi Dave,I can truly Identify.I was attending Nar-Anon meetings for over 5 years before we moved to Florida in May(plus 2 homegroups with NA).My son,27,now in recovery going on 4 years from hard core Heroin addiction was my qualifier .As an addict I knew there was not much I could do but let go and let God, learn not to enable so much, and set boundaries and more importantly stick to them. For us it culminated in putting our then 21 year old on the street $150.00 per day jones and ripping and tearing up everything in site.We knew he would possibly OD(he did 3 times,one time anaphalactic shock from bad cut)go to jail or find a new way to live.Through God's grace and mercy he was arrested and got clean in jail(but relapsed a few times after...My wife and I cried ourselves to sleep many nights.As you know from that program(Nar-Anon),just like us,we didnt cause it,we can't control it and we can't cure it.We do what we do in our own way and our own time,but WE do learn that the program is about our health.How true that the qualifiers friends,family sometimes became sicker than the person wreaking havoc.Our faith in the God of our understanding and the tools of the program(both NA/NAR-ANON) truly were the guidelines and blessings that kept me sane when even many years of my own recovery was shaken, I wanted to bury myself under a rock,reliving the pain in my own family was a true test. Though I am the spiritual leader of my family and my strength comes from my Higher Power I need help daily and seek it ... I can only suggest you maintain your own spiritual and mental health however you can,obviously thru our principles in NA but also thru whatever other help there is available. Addiction is definitely a family disease and sure can manifest itself in many ways.I'll keep you in prayer brother,just a by the way on the HOPE shot,,my son Eric and his girl are on the last week of their 2 week vacation with us in Florida,down from New York.Two addicts,a father and a son,working their own processes a day at a time,and renewing a relationship that at one point looked lost...Our message is hope and our promise is freedom from active addiction,no easy bullet,takes work but with the work More is continually revealed...Thanks for sharing Dave,this subject obviously close to my heart.....Peace man,mind your own recovery sure aint gotta tell you that but I did............
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
I truly understand how daughters can tear you up. Mine is married to an alcoholic from an alcoholic family. Family gatherings are no fun for me. So much so, that I decided to not go to the in law family Christmas. I'll tell my daughter something, then go and see her and the baby when it's quiet and sober. Peace.