I am in need of some help, prayers, and experience, strength and hope. I currently havea sponsee that I have been working with for years. She is 22 years old and is 17 weeks pregnant. Last week they admitted her to the hospital and after many tests (and still many unanswered questions), here is what we know now. There is a large mass connected to her pulmonary valve on her heart. It is a very rare condition and at this point they are still not sure exactly what it is. Her heart is functioning at about 65% (down from 70% several days ago already). The neo-natal specialist came to see her today and stated that if they need to do open heart surgery then now would be the best time for the baby to have the best chance of survival during such a major surgery. The second option is to wait until the baby is old enough to thrive and do a c-section and open heart surgery. She is at a very high risk for heart attack and at this moment has about a 30% chance of not surviving the pregnancy or surgery if they wait this long. The third option is termination and open heart surgery. She got all of this news today and is struggling. We had a very long talk and I let her know that, as her sponsor, I will love her and support her through which ever path we end up walking together. I am lacking in experience and wanted to send out an SOS to all of my family in recovery. I have never been through anything in recovery that one of us hasn't already experienced. I'm wondering if anyone knows someone in the rooms that has faced a similar situation that could share their ES&H with her. If you've ever worked with a sponsee facing a life-threatening illness I would love some ES&H myself. Above all, love and prayers are appreciated and needed. "I can't, we can."
I have no experience with a situation such as yours, but I just wanted to say that it sounds like this girl is very blessed to have you by her side during this time in her life. Her situation sounds precarious at best, and her choices are all with risk, either for herself and/or her unborn child. From my experience in the nursing field, it sounds like a c-section and open heart surgery at the same time, especially after a high risk pregnancy that taxes her heart even further than it is already, is pushing the envelope in terms of her health and her survival, just as she has been told. Would they have a neonatal surgeon and a cardiologist present in the surgery if they did it now? It sounds like they would try to let her carry the baby and recover from open heart at the same time. If she is otherwise healthy, this may be quite possible. If they try this and there are complications, they would most likely need to terminate the pregnancy in order to save her life. If she has surgery and survives it, and the baby survives too, there is a very real possibility of problems for the child due to all the prenatal stress it will surely endure. Obviously many more questions than answers all the way around. Unfortunately I do not know of anyone I can call on to share personal experience related to her situation, but I will certainly call on my circle of friends to lift her, her unborn child, her family, and you up in prayer.
Being a very vocal type, I couldnt bear. to see you suffering this dilemma. Now after some searching,. heres a route that may well take you towards an informed decision.
Its a fact that there are many doctors and nurses in recovery, especially in larger regions like your Ohio.
I humbly suggest you send a mail to webmaster@ohiona.org. Needles to say, please share exactly what you shared with us here at MIP. This may be a good source for connecting with the right people..
God Bless your sponsee and the baby she carries, and God keep you Blessed and lead you towards The Light of Right Knowledge..)
recovery hugs over cyberspace to you.....
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I can only offer my support and prayer for you both.In all situations I continually seek my Higher Powers guidance through prayer and meditation.My friend Raman has offered some good suggestions for further medical advice.Just being there with her is how WE do it,one helping another in a loving and caring manner...Let us know how it goes..Peace and the strength of your Higher Power in guidance and serenity....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
And may I add the following experience, painful to say the least ???
I was smug and took things for granted early this year, thinking "things will sort out by themselves".
Fact is, they dont. Action is the magic word.
It's better to err on the side of more effort than none at all.
Like early this year, we lifted my unconcious brother and took him home. Then I phoned medical people and asked what i should do. The way i described my brothers condition, the doctor said he should be rushed to emergency.
I informed my sister in law of the same and took leave. The smug fool I was, I was thinking " theyll sort it out'.
And the price I paid for my smugness was my brothers life.
Hed had a stroke, and even over the phone the doctor knew it was emergency. But leaving it to my sister in law to do the needful was bad decision.
She took him in next morning, about 16 hours after the stroke. By that time my brother was brain dead. He came back home "officially dead"one month later after being in a hospital and many procedures and some surgery.
And all I could do was think "I wish I had acted and taken him to emergency immediately". The truth is, he may have survived. The "golden hour" was lost, so was my brother.
In these past 6 months, I written, shared, Prayed and Meditated. Ive forgiven myself many time. Even then, after all that, not a day passes without me thinking " I wish Id acted immediately"
My gratitude speaks when I care and i share the NA way. Whenever there is a possibility, I want to be of help. And that means, sometimes it is best to stick my neck out.
-- Edited by Raman on Wednesday 10th of October 2012 04:32:49 PM
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
I hear your anguish but I wonder if you aren't shouldering a burden that is beyond you. You are clearly a caring, loving sponsor and that is wonderful. When faced with situations I cannot control I revert to the third step. I surrender to a power greater than myself. Love, prayers, and faith. Her medical decisions are between her, her doctors, and her family. Your loving support 'in whatever path' is a huge contribution, and is, IMHO, the limit to your role. peace.
