Hi fellow brothers and sisters. I have a unique situation which has been touchy with other NA and the rules of NA but do suffer from depencency/addiction.
I am a person who has chronic intractable pain but also sober from Cocaine for many years now. However I do take medications for my pain conditons and am dependent on them to get out of bed each day. I have a 2 year old son to take care of and these medications allow me to function on a day to day basis. So my situation is unique and different. I know being a part of a 12 step group is having the desire to become and remain sober but is it ok for someone who lives iwth chronic intractable pain to do both? While I do need to have the ongoing support with one addiction will I be accpeted by other memebers because I have to take medications for a chronic conditon therefore might be considered "not sober".
My first DOC is cocaine. Like I said I have been sober from that for many years now by the grace of g-d and 12 step support groups. I am now in a co-dependent situation with my husband who is an alcoholic that has relapsed from being sober for 17 years. He also steals my medications that I need to be out of pain and I have to lock them up and hide them so he cant get to them.
Currently we are living seperately as we bought our retirement home last year for when my husband takes his early retirement in 2007. He started drinking again when we moved to the other house. The baby and myself which was summer of 2004 and continues to drink on a daily basis even when we are around and steals my meds any chance he gets if he finds them or breaks into the lockup I have for them.
I am here in our Apt. in Indiana right now visiting him for the holidays but making an early departure out of here due to his drinking and becoming violent last weekend. That is not and never will be tolerated by myself and I will not allow my baby to witness it ever again. He did see his dad very angry last weekend while he was intoxicated. And this is starting to compromise my sobriety in ways I never thought would happen. I am not a good stress person. I need life to be quiet and simple to stay sober. With all of this going on I am ready to give up and say "hey" one time..jsut to get out of my head..I know where that will lead me and thats very unproductive so here I am trying to keep my strength up. I feel that I may start abusing my other meds as well. I dont know. I am dependent I do know that and really cant come off them at this time becuase of the severity of my pain issues. I know this post is kind of all over the place but thats where I am at this point. I have tons of stress on me right now and there is a lot of confusion....about..AM I REALLY SOBER? Am I fooling myself that because I need these drugs and not doing my DOC I am sober because this is for a medical reason and its not destroying my life at this point (I know abusing them would put me there) I guess what I am looking for is to renew myself with the 12 steps and seek support from other people recovering but will I be accepted because I have to be on meds for a medical condition and am I 'really sober'?
I am very confused but needed to put this out there. Thanks for listening, any feedback would be appreciated along with acceptance.
Welcome to Narcotics Anonymous. Since we consider alcohol a drug we are try not to cloud the issue so we refer to our soberity as "Clean Time" or simply being clean. In NA we take the focus off specific drugs and concentrate on the disease of addiction. You might want to check out "na.org" and "narecovery.org. Meds taken under the care of a Dr. are okay reguardless of what some grumpy old farts might say. Good luck and keep coming back. Bob.
Hi Oxymama, Shortly after I came into recovery a NA member who I really looked up to had to undergo heart surgery and some of these same questions came up in his mind and in mine. I heard from other addicts in the meeting that the issue of medication is an outside issue to NA, as long as the medication is taken as directed by the prescribing physician. We DO need to check our motives, with the awareness that as addicts our disease can manufacture pain to haul us back out there to die from the disease. After the incident with my friends surgery the meetings in my area started to maintain a supply of "In Times of Illness" , an NA pamphlet dealing with this issue. It is available online at na.org (specifically at http://www.na.org/pdf/litfiles/us_english/Booklet/In%20Times%20of%20Il lness.pdf ) Yes, you belong here, we are a member when we say we are, & the only requirement is a DESIRE to stop using. The other issues of your life are also made easier to deal with if we use the steps on them. see http://www.12stepforums.net/index.html Adult Children and AlAnon boards (as well as others) are found there. Just remember that while the web is a great resource, it is not a substitute for face to face meetings. There is no place in the world like a home group! When the urge to use strikes us, sometimes "just for today" can seem like a long time, all we really need to do is stay clean from one breath to the next. It will get easier if we are willing to ride out the storm clean. Welcome home! Lon
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Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.----Alice Mackenzie Swaim
While I cannot speak for others in the program, if you are taking your pain medication as prescribed and under the supervision of a physician who is aware of your addiction history, I do not see this use as compromising your clean time. Just be very very careful, I know the addictive power of these types of meds all to well and it is a very small step from proper use to abuse.
I also have to say that I really admire you for doing what you need to to keep your life sane and sober and safe. Have you attended any al/narc-anon groups? I know several people, my sponsor included, who have been in similar situations to yours and found these groups to be immensly helpful.
Thank you so much for the very warm welcome and acceptance.
I will definitely be coming back here. I wish I had more time but I am leaving for Montana in the morning but did not want anyone to think I just posted and ran. I have a few minutes before I go to bed to take a moment and post here. Something soothing about being on a recovery board right before I sleep for the night and wake up for a long trip.
I so appreciate every one here and have so much to say and will do that when I return to Montana and when I get some alone time, after some much needed thinking is done on the road. (its the only part I like about a 30 hour drive with my 2 year old boy)
The God of my understanding does not want me to suffer any unnesscessary pain.
I have been in recovery and clean since 1989 and there are several times that I have had to take pain medications in order to continue functioning in this world.
I have had back surgery (1999), lung surgery (2000) and brain surgery (2001). Those pain meds were needed, and taken as prescribed. I also worked closely with my doctor on getting off of them as soon as possible provided I could function without them.
When medically prescribed, let your sponsor, close friends in recovery and family and friends know you are taking them, what for, how much, how often so they can help you keep an eye on your addiction. My addiction likes to hide in the dark where no one can see it... I have to be willing to shine some light on it, so it can't get away with what it got away with at one time in my life.
Hey lady, hope your drive went well. I must say that I greatly admire your bravery and fortitude, as the mother of a 2-year old boy myself, I cannot imagine undertaking a 30 hour drive with him. I'll look forward to hearing from you upon your return.
