Hi Kara, good question, thanks for asking it.

A good way to start is,,,,what is my understanding of addiction, besides the drugs ?

first i identify at meetings, when I say "My name is Raman and Im an addict".

I keep my eyes and ears and mind open. I gather others understanding of what addiction is, besides the drugs !

A sponsor is basically a Guide through the 12 Step Recovery Program of NA, so thats another very important source.
And other addicts may build up on the underpinnings a sponsor initiates. They maybe the best bet in a deeper understanding of what addiction is, besides the drugs.


Then I read, read , read. NA conference approved literature gives us addicts insights into almost all questions.
I know because Ive experienced it. I still make it a point to read literature, even after 2 and a half decades clean. The Just For Today, the Basic Text and It Works are especially regular references.
Therein, I find words describing what Im experiencing. I gain meaningful insights on where Im at and more importantly, where Im heading.
All phenomena are explained, and no doubts left, just needing acceptance.

Then all that said and done, please let me share a bit of my own story with you.

I believe and I know from my inventory and mine and others memory that my life was very un-manageable even before I began using at age 12.
At school, at home, with friends, even with myself, I was never in control of my negative emotions, especially anger.
I was quick to anger and very slow to overlook or forgive. Why I was like that I dont know yet, but it sure set me up for using drugs to feel comfort and joy.
I had to do something different and I thought the drugs would give me definitions in life, away from the normal, square folk whose world I lived in.
And that was ok. I felt like a freak but the drugs and other freaks-addicts made me feel all right. Fine it was, till I got deeper into addiction and the ugly side took over. Anger was now hate and I hated it all, society, family, friends, religion and myself. I did not conciously choose to become so addicted but thats addiction, an "all or nothing" thing, a real dis-ease of body, mind and soul !!!

Came now many years of suffering and surviving institutions, lock ups, fights, different and more potent drugs and strange and dangerous people.
Where once I took pride in fellow users like flower- children, hippies, yogis and the elevated, I now was keeping company of pimps, pushers, whores, thieves, and the likes. I shudder to remember, even now. The lucky break was the thing, I call it a Grace of God, an undeserved, unmerited favour, that most probably happened because of my mothers prayers.
A guy (who has 30 years clean now and is giving gratitude in the home group) took me into his rehab and there, through reading the Basic Text and discussions with counsellors and other addicts, I came to know the true nature of addiction. Drugs gone, i had to learn to deal with the defects that set me up in the first place.

And thats the nature of recovery; dealing with the addiction, besides the drugs, on a daily basis. Most importantly, I deal with recovery everyday. Thats the only way out. I thank God I dont have to deal with the drugs anymore, but everyday, I have to deal with life without drugs and both the defects and assets it brings forth on a daily basis.
That indeed is the nature of recovery. It's my understanding based on getting perspective through the 12 Step Tradition of Narcotics Anonymous.

"the therupatic vaule of one addict helping another........... is the Miracle"

-- Edited by Raman on Friday 28th of September 2012 06:54:19 AM

HI and welcome.
My take on this:
When we get clean we may think that we have overcome addiction.
We often find out that our obsessive/compulsive behavior is found in many things we do.
A current manifestation of the disease of addiction that is not drugs may be,
over eating, sex, exercise, shopping, gaming, or a hobby that consumes us etc. etc. etc.
We may be doing these things, knowing they are the 'disease' and be beating ourselves up because we think we should be over this kind of stuff.
I'm glad you are working the steps but our literature cautions us about not doing them with a sponsor.
Indeed, the main reason to have a sponsor is to have someone with experience to do step work with.
"the only wrong way to work the steps is to do them alone"
Thanks for posting and let us know how you are doing.