Hi all, my name is Raman and Im an addict ( thanks for letting me remind myself !!)
A day clean is a day won.
I spent Sunday morning with my daughter and we had lunch together and also watched "National Treasure". Nice time......
Then my daily walk, shower and Im ready to goto work. And, I had a different experience today !
When I play my music in parties like the one this evening, I play my music, be genteel, then get something to eat and go. "Dont get too close to these people" is my policy usually ! But this evenings was different. I was the featured artiste for the first hour of the party and put soul into the music and felt very appreciated.
Then I doubled as MC after my set was over. And after the cake was cut ( birthday party, 60 year old !), I brought on the DJ and went about networking. There were lots of people there I knew and I was expected to at least say hi to them in person. And yes, this is the hard part, mingling with people that are in a jolly mood, with glasses in their hands. I did the first round of hellos, then some banter with familiars and then a dead end. I sat down feeling weird; this is never usually part of my fixtures, this socializing. I just sat there, felling really out of place !
I knew what I had to do next, a recovery basic called a short, spot inventory and a bit of P and M. (Prayer and Meditation). Point is, recovey basics apply in all situations and recovery is my responsibility. I got to face feelings.The spot inventory takes just 5 minutes and from my own and others past experience, is well worth the effort ! So, I said the Serenity Prayer. and wait few moments; and lo and behold, the Magic starts.
Never fails the recovering addict, does it ? So what followed ? From being edgy and feeling like a fish out of water, I begin feeling better the moment I "get out of myself".
I spent the rest of the evening in good cheer, fresh lime soda in hand, and being part of it all ! Im also acknowledging there were those others that were not doing alcohol, so I wasnt alone.Partying like this is not something Id do each nite of the week, but God help me remember that I can be with folks that drink normally and be there for them with my talents; a small contribution from me to making their event memorable. After alls said and done, its my job !
Just for today, I have no reason to be uncomfortable, uppity etc. Just because im a recovering addict in NA I dont have to feel apart, different etc. in these settings. The moment I feel like that and keep on feeling like that, inspite of recovery options, it's time to leave the party for drier spaces !
Thanks for letting me share the experience of the day !
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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
Nice share. My wif of 32 years last Thursday is having an after work glass of wine as I type. Doesn't bother me a bit. Now the first couple of years into Recovery and our marriage a different story, I couldn't handle being around drugs in any form! And she respected that and no alcohol was in our house back then.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA