HI, My name is Chad, and im an addict. I haavnt been in NA long, and today is my 60 day mark. I have a sponsor, and am working the steps. I just began step four. Since my recovery began, i knew that if i wanted it to work, that i i had to change completely. THe only things i have from my old life now are my job, and my car, and im hoping to get a different vehicle soon. Ive noticed that I dont know who i am anymore, as the things i did in my old life are what identified me. I dont get much pleasure out of things that i did as hobbies, and while i used to pass the time playing video games, or watching tv, that doesnt really interest me much these days either. Sometimes i feel lost, like i may never know me again. I have fears about making new relationships with people. I have reservations about trusting. I know it is a process, and all questions will not be answered overnight. I know that im making personal discoveries slowly. Is it normal to feel like you are a stranger to yourself? Is it normal to feel disconnected with family, even though you are clean and want to be able to have relationships with them? Is this just part of learning who you are again?
The answer to your questions is yes. Recovery is Journey not a destination. As the fog begins to lift we begin to see who we really are and may become, not who we were in active addiction. And layer after layer will be revealed over time time slowly peeled away like an onion. Enjoy the Journey!
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Chad,Recovery is a new life long journey your on .See you are saying you realize you don't have the same likes as before.Don't ever take recovery or your Step work lightly,it is learning to live this new way'it is wonderful.I will have 8 years in January 2013,never thought that would happen.Keep Coming Back .That was after 39 years of using a living hell.
-- Edited by cdbuckberry on Saturday 1st of September 2012 05:40:26 PM
I really appreciate you guys responding to me. I have just felt so lost. I know im on the right path, and i am loving the serenity it has already brought me. Its really scary to learn that i dont even know who i am, that i let something define me that wasnt really anything but fear and selfishness. I see the faces of the people in my home group, and hear in their voices how it has worked miracles in their lives, and i know if i keep myself grounded and do my step work i will learn more about me in time. Im going to keep coming back. Thanks .
yes to all of your questions! i have over a year clean and i still feel like a stranger to myself and my friends and family. you are awesome. keep on going.
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
What I have realized is that moved away from my true self during my addiction. In recovery, I rediscovered myself and the things I like to do before drugs became the focus of my life.
