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NA Message Board -> Narcotics Anonymous Message Board -> A Mother's Pain
Post Info TOPIC: A Mother's Pain
Ivy


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A Mother's Pain
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Hello everyone, this is the first time I have ever joined a Message Board, but I wanted to reach out to those who have struggled with drugs for some help. My son who is 17 was into smoking weed heavily. I am not familiar with drugs and have never raised my kids around people who do. I tried very hard to keep my boys out of that type of life, but it didn't work. Last year he went crazy because I took his phone away and I ended up paying the price for it. He called his father who is in another country and told him I beat him. Well the police came to arrest me for child abuse and when they saw my injuries, the tables turned. He was charged with domestic violence and for a year we have been going back and forth to court. Mind you his father who never took the time to call me to find out the facts, stopped paying child support and did not call him once during this whole year. Because of all of this, he tried to commit suicide and was baker acted.

Because my son failed all of his court order drug test, he had to enter a drug rehab for teens and after a month he left. But he was doing great. A totally changed child. Well 2 days ago we went to court and instead of probation, the Judge closed his case. He had alot of support from alot of programs and even the probation office stated in court that after reviewing his case and speaking to my son, he seemed like a wonderful kid who made a mistake. Drug test came back negative and he was in the straight path to success. He is very talented and even wrote a song about his struggles with suicide. Everyone involved with his case heard the song and had a very positive reaction.

As a mother I was proud of him and once we left court, I was able to breathe and know that all of this was finally over. WELL, not less than 12 hours out of court, he comes home at 4 am, drunk and admitted to smoking weed. REALLY!!!.

I feel like such a fool. I spent every vacation day going back and forth to court/drug rehab/therapy. I had to move out of my apartment because I could no longer afford it due to all the fees I had to pay. And this is how he repaid me. I need help trying to figure out how to handle this. I want to hurt this kid so bad. I want to help him because I do not want to see my child in the street, but I don't know what to say or what to do. I feel like soon I won't have any other choice but to kick him out.

Sorry for the long entry, I just need to get this pain out. If you want to hear the song, here it is. It's a rap song, so for those who don't like rap, just listen to the words. http://youtu.be/3Fhhw9XzRJY



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MIKEF


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Hello Sonia I am an addict named Mike .Welcome to MIP! I also am the parent of a now 27 year old son who struggled with hard core heroin addiction from the time he was 17.He has been in recovery for 3 years but it was a period that shook the roots of my own recovery.As an addict I knew there was not much I could do until he was ready to stop using but I did find another support group beside Narcotics Anonymous that was very helpful.NAR-ANON a fellowship for friends and relatives of addicts.There you will be surrounded by others who can truly identify with the pain of a loved one using drugs.You will learn you didn't cause it,you can't control in and you can't cure it.You will also learn the tools of the 12 srep program of how not to enable your qualifier and to find peace and serenity for your own life.You can GOOGLE NAR-ANON.ORG to find a meeting near you.My wife and I cried ourselves to sleep many nights after we put our son on the street in the most horrid condition of his life.We wanted to help him save his own life.The God of our understanding brought the peace that definitely surpassed all understanding through the most trying times of our lives.Addiction is a family disease and it wreaks havoc every wear.Let us know how you make out.I will lift you up in prayer......Peace 



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MIKEF


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Hello again Ivy!

There is a meeting every WEDNESDAY night 7:30-9:00 pm at the Boca Raton Middle School..1251NW 8TH STREET..MEDIA CENTER.We just moved here from New York in May and live in Pompano Beach, about 8 miles from ya...Good luck ,in my thoughts and prayers..........smile 



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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery. 
Ivy


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Hi Mike. Thank you for your story. I am going to attend the meeting at Boca Middle. I never thought in a million years I would be going through this. Thank you again.



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cdbuckberry


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Mom,Children don't always get clean there first time trying.Addiction of any sort is a lifetime disease.You know he did it once.I hope he will try again , he did it before.He  has to get rid of old friends,they will lead him down the path of temptation again.Without them around he won't be tempted to .I used for 39 years ,it was like having a devil on one shoulder and a good clean person on the other saying don't do it!!!Maybe he should try NA meetings and you could check out NARANON that is for parents of drug user to understand what he is going through.Hope this helps.



-- Edited by cdbuckberry on Sunday 19th of August 2012 01:39:21 PM

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avid


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Sorry that you have to endure such pain.
Nar Anon an/or Al anon are places where you can find others
who may have similar stories.
Peace.

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Keep it in the day.
Raman


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May the Love and Light of the Goddess of Healing come your way one fine day !

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Raman an addict clean and serene just for today in NA Worldwide ; live to love and love to live the NA Way !!!
kitty doyle


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I've read your story again and again and listened to his song again and again and I... I can't stop crying.
Arriving here at MIP under similar circumstances, except that I've been in recovery for many years, the plight of my son and my pain are spread across the message board here for you to seek if you desire.
I know I found so much comfort in knowing that MIKEF has been through the same thing, especially since this whole fiasco with my son has placed my many years of sobriety at risk on occasion.

I'm sure (at Nar-anon) you'll uncover so much understanding and compassion that you're outlook will be much better soon!

Stay strong, peace.
kd

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Ivy


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Hi Kitty,

Thank you so much for your response. I am still struggling to understand all of this. I have been working so much and have yet to get to a meeting. But I set my alarm for next week. I am not missing that one. I need help understanding all of this. But I have to say, after reading the comments I can see that trying to change my son is never going to work. I hope to understand all of this at the meetings and be able to make decisions that would better things for myself. I love my son very much, but I need to love myself too and I have neglected that.

I am so glad you liked the song. I am working on getting it recorded. When he is doing his music, he is in a different world and no one, not even drugs can get in between. But for some reason, he stopped. So I am hoping, once he gets into a studio, things will change, if just for a little while. He praises marijuana and see's nothing wrong with it, so I know he will never stop. I guess I just want him to be successful in life and I don't see that happening at this point. I will be reading your post. I have read alot of them and I am amazed at how many people have struggles with the addiction and the families staying strong.

Take care,

Ivy



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SereneStarleena


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I will keep you and your son in my thoughts and prayers! Stay strong, reach out to your Higher Power, and pray! He is a very talented boy and I hope that you both can find recovery, love and Peace! Good Luck and God Bless!


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-Starleena(Star)
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