Hi Everyone,

I am new to this forum and would love some input. I have been blessed to be clean in the Narcotics Anonymous program since October 17, 1998. Since September of last year, I have been dealing with a chronic, undiagnosed health condition. I have a few questions. Are there NA forums, maybe in this group or even outside this group, that focus on addicts with a chronic illness. If so, please post the links. Also, the 10pm online meetings are too late for me. I go to bed at 8pm every night due to my fatigue. I read In Times of Illness and have a wonderful sponsor and support network, but feel I need more of a connection with other addicts struggling with chronic illness. 

Here is a brief synopsis of my story. Since Sept. '11 I have been hospitilized four times, have had over a dozen procedures and tests, went to Minnesota (I am from upstate NY) to see an expert, and had a feeding tube surgically inserted. Basically, I can't eat hardly anything w/o it making me sick. I have never had an eating disorder, do not have signs of anything obvious, including motility disorders, and the only GI problem I have ever had was having my gallbladder out in '98. I can't gain or sustain weight on my own and went from 135 lbs in Sept. '11 to 95 lbs in May '12. I am tube fed through my small intestine at night and am forced to eat as much as I can tolerate by day. I am disabled from my job right now and have a 14 month old who, luckily, goes to day care (for now and until the money runs out) during the day, but have to care for him in the evenings and on weekends as my fiancee works two jobs and needs his meetings too. I try to get day meetings when I feel strong enough, but lately have been very weak. Many days I feel like giving up, but NA and the fellowship keep me going. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and my family. I pray every day for God's will and blessings. I often wonder "Why me?" Then I think "Thank God I clean, just for today."