Self reflection,,cool got to get inside...Unmanageability,,oh yeah, both kinds WE got.(keep it on me here).the outward(pretty obvious)arrests,illness,dereliction,stigmatized by others(might be a rat,a rip-off and other marvelous outlooks and possibly truths from others)but also the inward unmanageability(the depression,loss of hope,totally low self esteem,etc)Our lives had become unmanageable!!!ummhuunn
DOC!!
Yes there were probably certain drugs we leaned toward,junk,pills,booze,barbs,meth,weed,etc and we used what we could when we didn't have our favorite,but for us Drug of Choice(we don't really suffer from any one drug) gets a new look when we realize that we suffer from the disease of "addiction" a physical.mental and spiritual allergy that manifests itself in all areas of our lives,an incurable and progressive,fatal illness...Its why some may be able to put down the substance for awhile and then pick up again.Once we put the substance down it is important that we go to work on the other aspects of our illness,the mental and spiritual.We are told the the Steps are the positive tools that make our recovery possible and also those who find sponsorship valuable get the most out of OUR program.WE have paid the price for our membership with our pain and if we don't remain vigilante,do some daily work we can certainly refund our misery at any given time.Keep working, our suggestions are always the same ,make some meetings,get a sponsor,work the steps and apply them in your life and in turn ,give back to the best of your ability..and yes we do have an incurable disease but we do recover ,a day at a time..Keep coming back...,for me, living a new life, the NA way, has been better than any life I have known..Peace
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
Thanks mike. It took me a bit to understand how unmanagability affects our insides. That's why I thought it important to post this, I found a real life example that even if that decision didn't lead to outside consequences, it still made me want to use for about ten minutes. And it's true, we are all garbage heads if we really look at it, but it was the vyvanse that really got me wanting to use. Was JEALOUS that they had it in their posession. Wasn't jealous that they had oxys or alcohol.
But that's not important. What's important is that it made me realize what unmanagable means, even if my outside looks good, my insides are disgusting. And that's why I belong here, and need to stick to this way of life.
You hit the damn thing on the head, a lot of people don't have that understand or ability to be honest about there illness, let alone charecter defects.
So your a step up and with that thoughtyour a mile ahead of many, I need to remember things about myself hat are crucial to my recovery and its daily, sometimes moments in time I need to get through, thoughts take over, feelings, memorys, lusts, desire, selfishness most of which can be unmanageable but what I can manage is how I treat these things that go on or not treat them and die....
