Hi Punkin, I hope you are still hangin in there. I totally understand what you are going through. I am on day one of my latest hydro detox, I usually take 5 10 MG Norco tabs a day, but I decided on New Years eve that in 2006 I want my life back and I only took one tab yesterday [a half in daytime and a half at night]  Today I intend to stay drug free all day. Similar to you Punkin, I took pain meds for back pain, I did not take them to get high, I simply wanted out of pain. Eventually I became dependent, I realized and admitted only recently [after many years taking them] that the back pain is hardly ever present anymore.

I am new to this site, but I am not new to the suffering of addiction. I have been dependent on Hydrocodone, for many years. Before I became dependant on Vicadin and Norcos, I was a recovering heroin addict, I did street drugs in my teens/early twenties then in 1986 I finally found NA, I was totally drug free for over 7 years, it was the best 7 years of my life, I want that back so much right now, and I telling myself that in order to have my good life back, I'm gunna hafta pay, that price is the pain and discomfort of a detox. I went through it in June 2004, but after a long flight business trip and felling back pain again, I ended up getting back on the meds and now I hate myself for that because I will have to do it all over again.

I have done withdrawals from either Heroin and Hydrocodone, and as bad as it may seem right now, the Hydrocodone withdrawal symptoms are less than other narcotics. I am not trying to minimise your situation,  but that is what is helping me right now, is telling myself every few minutes, at least it's not as bad as kicking Heroin [which sucks worse] I am going to detox this week no mater what, I want to be drug free in 2006.

I too have heard that Valerian Root helps calm and maybe help get some sleep, but I dont expect a full nights sleep by any means, cat naps will be welcomed though, so I am going to GNC to get some today. Ones legs become restless and uncomfortable during opiate withdrawal,  potassium and calcium is supposed to be good for that, so eat a few bananas each day, maybe one during lunch, one at night. A multiple vitamin will help a little. Most experience flu like symptoms and diarrhea, so take Imodium for the diarrhea and drink plenty of fluids. A hot bath or hot shower a few times a day is actually quite helpful.

The first few days of a detox is the worst. You will experience lack of sleep, diarrhea, headache, irritability, and cravings. The physical symptoms are not fun, however if you really think about it, they're not that bad as say laying in a hospital after surgery, or something serious like that. It's the mental battle that attacks us, constantly thinking about how a pill will make all the discomfort go away, thinking that a week is an eternity, worrying about job, family etc. If ya take all that away and just leave the physical affects, then it's not all that bad really. 

Also, try not to look too far ahead, looking at the clock and wondering how much longer you can stand it is difficult, stay in the moment, ask yourself, "am I able to hold it together right now?" I know I can hang at least a few minutes right now, and then probably a bit longer, eventually an hour passes, then another, and then after a restless night, one more day, if I can go a day I can go 2 days. I know I can. Meetings help me, it's the one place for an hour or more that I feel comfortable within my skin, people who know what it's like and care, I cant wait to get to a meeting later today and it's hella pouring down rain here in CA, but I will walk to a meeting if I have to. They truly help. If you've never been to an NA meeting, find one, and go. It might feel awkward at first, going somewhere that you dont know anyone, wondering if you are different, if you are being judged. But you will find that's all just first time jitters, people are very understanding and helpful.

I'm somewhat lucky, I have some very good friends that I have known in NA for many years. I am truly grateful that these folks are still around and remember me. Some I sponsored when they were new and I had been active in NA for a few years. Sadly, I have been avoiding them for 5 months, but now I have been trying to reach them by phone. The last time I detoxed in June just talking to one of them on the phone helped a lot, they gave me hope and encouragement to hang in there the rest of the day until I saw them at the night's meeting.

Good luck Punkin, it's not easy, but it will be worth it. I'm hoping for some encouragement myself. as I will be going through similar myself this week.