Hi and congrats on the start of your recovery journey and on getting to a meeting right away. Don't know if you are new to recovery or trying again, or if your wife is an addict or clean. Really, it doesn't much matter. Hopefully you are in recovery because you want to live this way of life for you. So I would say focus on yourself, and getting well. Getting into a relationship with another recovering addict when new to recovery is not recommended in the meetings I go to, for a myriad of reasons. As a married woman, I can say that fooling around on your wife is not a good idea, regardless. Not something we typically approve of. Early sobriety is a roller coaster, and there is much work to be done if we want to get well and stay well. So again, I say focus on you and your recovery. Find a sponsor (a male would be the norm for men, female for women) and work the 12 steps. We all want someone who "gets" us. Try finding a higher power and look to him/her/it, forget the other woman. Good luck. Peace.
-- Edited by nezyb on Tuesday 24th of April 2012 12:41:26 AM
I went to a in patient treatment program. i am now drug free and i feel great.The day i got out I met someone at a meeting and i feel very strongly towards her and i am spending all my time with her. The problem is that i am married. not sure if these feelings are because of my happiness in recovery or if i have reel feelings for her.please give me some advice if you have some.
Congratulations on being clean and going to meetings. It is suggested that no major changes occurr for the first year or so of being clean. The emotionality of starting a new relationship is considered dangerous to recovery. When you add that to the fact that your being married would require you to be dishonest, or have to deal with the strains of divorce. Well, it's pretty easy to see that your heading for a train wreck. My suggestion would be to not see this woman, and focus on getting a good foundation to your recovery. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, read na literature and pray. Thanks for stopping by and keep coming back
There's an unqualified occupant in the drivers seat, of the car, called your life . We must be rigorously honest lest we will use again. Being clean is a lot more than just not picking up a drug. We have the ability to "switch addictions", and relationships and sex are on that list. May not be our "drug of choice" but it can lead us right to it. My Mother (37 years clean and sober) likes to say "Under every skirt, there is a Slip".
Early sobriety is a roller coaster, and there is much work to be done if we want to get well and stay well. So again, I say focus on you and your recovery. Find a sponsor (a male would be the norm for men, female for women) and work the 12 steps. We all want someone who "gets" us. Try finding a higher power and look to him/her/it, forget the other woman. Good luck. Peace.
