first let me say hey as i am new to this board. i have been clean since may 10th but i havent really been working the program i go to meetings. i have a sponser but not good one that will push me and help me learn the program. this week my world has fell apart it seems. i am 20 years old i got out of prison almost a year ago. feb 28th. i did 2 years and i went to stay at this center when i got out to change my enviroment because my home enviroment is not healthy for me. the person who first made me stop using was a close friend in prison and she passed away on the 20th i found out on the 21st. then on the 26th i found out that the center im living at is closing down. so i have to move up to tennesse, which is where i am at now as i was up here for the holidays. i got close to the person who was running the center, he was like a grandfather figure, my college i had to quit and it just seems like everything is just falling apart. i have no way of getting to a meeting till at least tuesday till i get my license. then i plan on getting a sponsor and really working the steps. but till then i feel like im about to explode. i have been thinking of drugs for the past 3 days and had a bottle of whiskey in my hand today. i didnt drink any. but im just feeling like its not even worth trying right now. some advice on what you have done in the past when you wanted to use real bad or any advice at all would be great
Welcome. When I want to use, I try to think it through: what would happen? One drug would lead to another and another and I'd be back in the same old shit. I don't want to go there today. So, I'm not going to take that first drug. Hang in there--remember that whatever emotions you are going through now will pass and that they're now worth using drugs over. Using drugs will make things worse, not better. Go to lots of meetings, call your sponsor, and work the steps. Don't use no matter what.
Hey Flagrl. Most of us have felt this way one time or another, so you are not alone. Some suggestions. get on the phone and call anyone in recovery. If you don't have numbers, call the na hotline for your area. na.org and follow the links. Some physical activity always helps me when i feel this way. Nice and cool down here in florid today...i took a 30 min power walk this morning...did me a world of good. "move a muscle, change a thought" then pray....read NA literature...and pray some more. prayer, meditation, physical activity, and contact with other addicts in recovery can get us through the rough times. don't give up.
first of all remove the temptations to drink that bottle by pouring it out it is my personal experience that if its there we will use it or drink it when we have it there in front of us....especially when things seem over whelming as it seems they are for you right now. if you cant get to a meeting read the literature make calls to people in recovery including the sponsor you have now...and if it helps you as it does me keep posting here on the message board...i always get feedback when i reachout the feedback i get is always positive and always helpful (thanks everyone)...and of course prayer to your higher power to get you through the moment. BUT DONT GIVE UP! play the tape all the way thru if you start with that bottle then what and then what and then we end up as the literature says jails,institutions,death! and always alone...your life is worth more then that. addiction will have you believing otherwise. keep on doing the next right thing no matter how hard it may seem and you will find the gifts recovery has to offer. BUT DON'T GIVE UP! STICK AROUND AWHILE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. OH AND DONT TRIP! hope you the best and im sending prayers your way....
__________________
kelly lofquist
Dont stress over what couldve been, chances are if it shouldve been, it wouldve been...
thank you guys for your reasponses i called some of my support group and read my basic text. i cant dump all the bottles as they are my motthers and step dads. but am doing better today still feeling overwhelmed. but i will keep posting and doing the next right thing. thanks yall
i have no way of getting to a meeting till at least tuesday till i get my license. then i plan on getting a sponsor and really working the steps. but till then i feel like im about to explode.
First hang in there, don't use no matter what. Don't think about tomorrow, don't even think about the next hour. Just don't pick up at this moment.
That said for me I have to want Recovery as bad as I wanted dope. I went to any lengths to get loaded and I have to be just as willing and tenacious in my Recovery. No license so what, no excuse for not making it to meetings! I've walked over 10 miles in cold and rain to make meetings, I needed them that bad. No I'm not being mean but I don't pull punches, this is life and death.
Doing whatever it takes. For me it's worked. Over 31 years of One Day at a Times Clean.
Keep Coming Back!
-- Edited by Mike M on Friday 30th of December 2011 05:49:29 PM
__________________
Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
well its at least 15 miles to town then however many miles from the beginning of town to the meeting. when i lived in florida i bikes and took the bus to all my meetings i went to right now i have no clue where i am going. i havent used and been calling people in recovery on and off today and i stayed busy. i rearranged my room and got it ready for me to move into and cleaned the house. i do good as long as i stay busy. thank yall for the advice
