My first Post!!
God it has been a long road for me to get to the point where I willing want to surrender my will to the Program. I have been doing the revolving door of meetings for seven years with little success. Total denial that my life was out of control and I was powerless over drugs. I hated the program I hated the people and I took inventory of everybody but myself. I wanted to pretend I could just smoke weed and stay away from the more the deadly stuff (mainly stimulants in my case). I wanted to go back to thye 20 yr. old pot smoking oblivion-you know-the "good days" before I found higher highs! Where those days really that 'good" as I unconsiously believed? I stole for weed, scammed people, and craved it like any other damn drug. Ok I am ranting...but I want RECOVERY not abstinence.
Definition of Recovery- regaining vitality, vigor, health and wellness!!
Definition of abstinence- You cant score the dope you want!!
A big Hug
Total denial that my life was out of control and I was powerless over drugs. I hated the program I hated the people and I took inventory of everybody but myself. I wanted to pretend I could just smoke weed and stay away from the more the deadly stuff (mainly stimulants in my case). A big Hug
OMG that was the journey I started out on this time around. I said, "Well Vic, as long as you just smoke pot for your spiritual journey (Justifying my Spiritual Walk) and don't do any other dope, you will be OK!" Well a few months down the road, I was more miserable than when I was totally blown away.
Glad that I came to realize that it all had to go. Today, although it isn't always "Happy, Joyous and Free" I am somewhat content most of the time.
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Just Keep ON KEEPING ON!!!!!!!!!! If we live we are just pretty lucky
There are those in the rooms who think the pot heads seeking recovery are something of a joke. This is their disease talking imho. It's just another variation of comparing to be greater than or less than. Pot causes isolation, self centeredness, distance from loved ones, inability to feel comfortable around anyone who is NOT a pot head etc, etc. In short it does all the things the hard drugs do. Pot heads are members of NA when they say they are.
Recovery= freedom from a seemingly hopless state of body and mind,based on a fit spiritual condition, a daily reprieve, guided by the God of your understanding and the application of spiritiual principles in your attitudes and behaviors. Glad your back here,WE do this together....
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Our purpose is to remain clean,just for today,and to carry the message of recovery.
