When at the end of the road we find that we can no longer function as a human being, either with or without drugs, we all face the same dilemma.... Either go on as best we can to the bitter endsjails, institutions, or deathor find a new way to live.
Basic Text, p. 87
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What was the worst aspect of active addiction? For many of us, it wasnt the chance that we might die some day of our disease. The worst part was the living death we experienced every day, the never-ending meaninglessness of life. We felt like walking ghosts, not living, loving parts of the world around us.
In recovery, weve come to believe that were here for a reason: to love ourselves and to love others. In working the Twelve Steps, we have learned to accept ourselves. With that self-acceptance has come self-respect. We have seen that everything we do has an effect on others; we are a part of the lives of those around us, and they of ours. Weve begun to trust other people and to acknowledge our responsibility to them.
In recovery, weve come back to life. We maintain our new lives by contributing to the welfare of others and seeking each day to do that betterthats where the Tenth, Eleventh, and Twelfth Steps come in. The days of living like a ghost are past, but only so long as we actively seek to be healthy, loving, contributing parts of our own lives and the lives of others around us.
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Just for today: I have found a new way to live. Today, I will seek to serve others with love and to love myself.
We felt like walking ghosts, not living, loving parts of the world around us.
This makes me sad because it reminds me of when I was high with my little boy around and he wanted my attention and I just was not there. I would feed him and plop him in front of the TV and be so happy when he would fall asleep......
This line also gives me so much gratitude because today I am there for my kids and we snuggle a lot and they know I love them. I still am happy when they fall asleep but thats only because I need to do homework or watch reality TV.
