How did I get here, how the hell? I knew better! I knew better and still I let the doc write the Rx. I have everyone thinking this is all under control. I give my Rx of percoset to a co-worker to ration to me on a weekly basis... She doesn't know about the other 120 pills the doc gives me every month. I worked hard to get clean the last time. I was dropped off at a homeless shelter by my brother because of a crack and crystal meth addiction. I was clean for 6 damn years then knee and hip pain provide a path for this disease to sneak back in. I can sit here and be mad at myself continue using and wait for the destruction to begin or I can come up with a plan. How did I get here, how the hell?
I know how the hell I got here, my name's Mike I'm an addict. The disease of addiction is cunning, powerful and patient. The disease of addiction will never leave me. And tomorrow morning I'll be in purgatory. At the dentist that is, likely for a root canal. And the thought flashed through my addict mind earlier this evening hey, they'll likely prescribe some good pain killers if I want them to, I'd be able to get high legally!
My name's Mike I'm an addict, I will be telling them upfront no narcotic pain killers of any kind, over the counter only regardless the pain. I know me, I can't handle drugs. A part of me wants to feel that euphoria again, always will. Maybe, just maybe it would be ok but I'm not going to risk it.
My name's Mike I'm an addict who celebrated 31 years Clean at my Home Group last night and am terrified of what could happen if I said yes to narcotics for pain. I thank my High Power daily for another day Clean and for the NA Program.
Get your ass to Meetings or stay in the grip of the disease!
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Taking narcotic medications for pain is a difficult thing for most addicts. It is always a good idea to talk to your sponsor about this and get honest. Glad you came back. The past is what it is. Do your best to use the tools of NA--meetings, sponsorship, steps, fellowship, service, prayer and meditation.
