hi everyone, just found this forum, so grateful it exists. i got clean in june 1999 and am still clean. i moved over here with my partner four years ago. i love it here. i am struggling here as i cant seem to get to grips with the lingo h and i stopped going to meeting. i seem to have every excuse not to go.there is only one aa meeting here a week no na that i know of. i know i need meeting not only to stay clean but also to have a quailty of life. my thinking isnt very healthy even after all these years and i feel i am geting sicker all the time as the illiness sneeks in. i am afraid for myself and where i will end up without meeting. i am hoping with the surport of this forum that i will get my arse into gear and go even if it is one aa meeting a week. when i was at home i went to at least three meeting a week just to keep level headed. i miss my old buddies and meeting.
i just want to say i am very very grateful that i am clean and even with all that the shit that is in my head, that just for today i would not swop one bad day clean for all the good times using, cause for me there was no good times in my using, only pain!
i have a good life when i am not in my own head alone and i need help to stay out of it. i can not do this alone
Hey una welcome and I hear what your saying, i feel like im getting sicker to at times but you know, maybe we can look at it like its a growth period too ?
This stuff comes up after years of being clean, maybe like the meditation for the days say about responsibiltys that we have , things get OLD, same song same dance.
5 + years clean and the last 2 months I have had 2 occurances where i woke up from napping and had an obsession, and absolute almost uncontrollable desire to use again and I almost did a few days ago I acted on it made a call, luckily no answer.
WHY would I do that? yeah theres shit going on in my life thats making me so crazy, WOMAN mostly but its stuff thats hurting me and effecting my heart and soul I realize that now and now i have to deal with that stuff and take a close look at whats i can do about it. honestly all I had the other day was God he stopped the obsession and helped me pull myself together.
So it can get worse una thats where im at , my experience strength and hope, I dont want to use and lay back down with the devil but if we're not careful thats exactly what happens, I have to get reeeeeeally honest with myself and see what im not doing, we have to depend on a higher power mostly but we have other tools we have to use, we need all of them, support, for this damned disease inside of us, keep coming back una.
Welcome. I can't go too long without meetings or I squirrely. My recovery is based on meetings, stepwork, sponsorship, service, fellowship, prayer and meditation. I hope you can find some meetings in your vicinity soon. Keep coming back.
Hi Una, welcome. My names Mike, I'm a grateful Recoverying addict. 11&1/2 months ago I too discovered this forum and start each day here. And often like now end the day the same way. Great way to share our ESH, for me that means share between meetings.
Oh over time on my Journey of Recovery meeting attendance got further and futher spaced. Life got so busy. And I was handling it. Sometimes going a year or more without one. I probably didn't celebrate my NA birthday for a decade.
I was handling it, or so I thought. It was I who got spaced. Eventually with three decades Clean deep depression had set in. And I knew the problem was spititually based, complacency to the upteenth degree. About a year ago I started trying to find my spiritual path again. Found a group that became my new Home Group. Found this forum.
I still don't attend meetings daily or even weekly like early in my Recovery. For me I continue working to stay in touch with my inner Recovery and need a meeting or two a month to keep even keeled. Somtimes may go 5 or 6 weeks and start feeling the twinge, the need to reconnect. And I hit my Home Group not matter how busy life.
This coming Tuesday I will not miss my Home Group. I made a commitment to them to be there that day. You see I owe it to NA to be there, to give back what has been given so freely to me. It's after mid-night and now 11/27/2011, my 31st NA Birthday which I'll officially celebrate Tuesday.
Meetings matter. I must give back to others so I may continue My Journey of Recovery. This disease of ours doesn't stop, nor can I.
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Work the Steps or Die MF. (My Friend :) Clean One Day At a Time by The Grace of God through The Power of NA
Glad you are here Una, this place has been an amazing source of strength and hope for me many a phases in my recovery, at times I needed to come here everyday and read some of your shares to keep my sanity intact... it's a wonderful place and I hope you will get to benefit as many of us do from Miracles in Progress family here. Keep coming back, we all need each other!
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"If we do an honest examination of exactly what we are giving, we are better able to evaluate the results we are getting."Chapter 10 - Emotional Pain - NA Way of Life.
